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Old 03-14-2006, 09:25 PM   #30
Char Ell
@Char Ell
Force Enlightened
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Join Date: Feb 2005
Location: U.S.A.
Posts: 2,370
Current Game: The Old Republic
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I have to agree with everyone else and say that I find your story quite interesting, machievelli. I anxiously await further installments.

I'm not sure that the Yoda-speak is working for me though. Sometimes it seems OK and then at other times it doesn't. E.g.
“Force my actions direct. Woman save I must Force directs does. Woman taking her prisoner has, Force directs does. Person that rescue must do,” He pointed at Darshan. “Force directs does. Lie to you do I not.”
This whole section was very confusing for me and difficult to read. I'm not real sure of the method by which Yoda formulates his sentences but to me these phrases seem more like something he would say:
Direct my actions the Force does.
Save the woman the Force tells me.
Lie to you I do not.

Anyway, I'm sure trying to write a Yoda-like dialogue is very difficult and surpasses my ability. Keep up the great work as you've done an amazing job at providing history and details of your version of the early SW galaxy.
Originally Posted by machievelli
Did you guys know this one thread has been viewed more than anything else I posted to date?
For the life of me I don't know why. I found "Acceptance" to be a well written and compelling story too. Do you plan to continue that one?

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