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Old 03-23-2006, 07:34 PM   #21
Mashi An'krekku
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Join Date: Dec 2005
Posts: 738
WATCH THIS GET IGNORED FOR TWO MONTHS AND THEN GET FINISHED WITH A TERRIBLE ENDING!
~~~

ACT 3: TEH SUPAA KONKLUZHUN UV DEATH!!1

LILI: Hi. I wasn't in the last act, but I want you to listen to me because I can force you to, SO YOU'D BETTER LISTEN. [she pulls a shirt out from offscreen] My new shirt is out, and even though this cartoon isn't endorsed by Double Fine in any way, Mashi still wants you to buy it, and she doesn't even believe in shirts that cost over 20 dollars. Everyone will love it. It even comes in blue... [pulls out the blue version] in that girly style shirt that...girls like me wear. [sets both shirts aside] The point I'm trying to make is, [super zoom in] BUY THE DAMN SHIRT OR I'LL HUNT YOU DOWN, RIP OUT YOUR VERTEBRAE AND [eyes become demonic] DRINK YOUR SOUL!!
ANNOUNCER: A Double Fine Product...dawg. And now back to our show.
RAZ: [singing] Being alone is not for me, not in America the land of the free, stuck together we’ll always be, Ronald Reagan, can you- hey, a rat!
RAT: SQUEEK.
RAZ: Hey, two rats!
RATS: SQUEEK SQUEEK.
RAZ: Hey, five rats!
RATS: [more squeaking]
RAZ: Hey, thirty...rats!?
RATS: [commence exploding]
RAZ: WTF? WHO R ME?! MARIAAA, I'M COMING!!! [runs into a wall]
JOEL: Aw, great. He's still thinks he's Shadow the Hedgehog. THIS LOOKS LIKE A JOB FOR BIIIIRDMAAAAAAAAAN! [flies off the tower, landing in the courtyard headfirst] Ow!

l8R!

RAZ: [singing] Monday hotdog, Tuesday taco, Wednesday hamburgers and chocolate milk, Thursday sloppy joes and burritos in a bag. Friday was Pizza Day, the best day- OMG. AN OBSTACLE!
SHARPLINE: Hi! I work for Mashi! I'M SUPPOSED TO DISTRACT J00! O:
RAZ: O rly?
SHARPLINE: I will distract you with...[holds up a book] A BREIF HISTORY OF TIME!
RAZ: ...No. [walks past him]
SHARPLINE: THE POWER OF STEVEN HAWKING COMPELS YOU! [waves book around] COMPELLLLLLLLZZZ.
RAZ: [all the way across the room] NO IT DOESN'T.
SHARPLINE: I HOPE YOU BURN IN PIZZA HELL.
RAZ: NOT LISTENIIIING!

more l8r!

RAZ: [singing] A river of blood, who's gonna live? The Earth is tired of humankind and I think this world...is gonna wash in-heyyyy, this door is locked.
HIGH-PITCHED VOICE: He'll never get through.
RAZ: I'll never get through! Lili will starve! And I don't like it when Lili has to starve. And I still have her sauce.
CRULLER: TK the chair on the inside of the door, you n00b.
RAZ: Oh. Right. [TK's chair] STOP RIGHT THERE YOU EVIL THING.
FAT WOMAN WITH CRAZY WHITE HAIR NAMED SHEEGOR: I TOLD YOU NOT TO CALL AT DINNERTIME! [runs off]
RAZ: Better follow her during this transition sequence!

FOLLOWINGS OCCUR!

RAZ: [singing...again] She's hanging off the chopper, and no one's gonna stop her, don't try and call the doctor, 'cause she's jumpin' arou- OH MY GOD! [picks up a stuffed doll that looks like Lili] LILI! YOU WERE A PUPPET ALL ALONG! [wide, sad eyes] Somehow, I always knew.
LILI: I'm right here, you sexy referential dumbass.
RAZ: Okay, if you're there, what's this stuffed...you doing here?
LILI: Sheegor got bored.
SHEEGOR: IT'S THE TELEMARKETER! RUNNNNNN! [runs into the wall] Owowowow.
RAZ: I'm not a telemarketer.
SHEEGOR: Ohhh, can you save my turtle then?
RAZ: Sure, lady. I'll get on that. Where b3z?
SHEEGOR: In Dr. Loboto's laaaaaab.
RAZ: ...Fantasic.

STUFF HAPPENS.

RAZ: HEY MR. POKEYLOPE! I'M A DEELEECHOUS CHOCOLATE CAKE!
MR. POKEYLOPE: [attaches self to Raz's face]
RAZ: MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
DR. LOBOTO: Huh?
RAZ: Nothing. [walks away]
SHEEGOR: YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY~! [grabs the turtle and hugs him] LIFE IS GEWWWD.
MR. POKEYLOPE: I IS HAVING A PLAN.
RAZ and LILI: GASP! IT CAN TALK.
LILI: I'm not interested anymore.
MR. POKEYLOPE: If you put MY brain inside that...whats-it, I'll blast the doctor into next week.
RAZ: THEN BLASTING WE SHALL.

*'SPLODE!*

DR. LOBOTO: DR. LOBOTO IS BLASTING OFF AGAAAAAAAAAAAIN~! *ding*
RAZ: Wasn't me.
MR. POKEYLOPE: Wasn't me either.
SHEEGOR: WE WIN!
RAZ: I'll be right back...WITH BRAINS!
LILI: Yay! And now I'm not interested.

RAZ RETRIEVES THE BRAINS AND SHEEGOR DOES SOME NON-SURGICAL TYPE THINGS!

SASHA: WOW. I'm me again!
MILLA: I'm also me!
LILI: At least they're in the right heads.
RAZ: We actually had it wrong the first time!
SHEEGOR: It's an easy mistake to make.
SASHA and MILLA: THANKS RAZ!
RAZ: j00r welcome! Now let's free Lili so I can make out with her maybe.
LILI: YAAY!

THAT HAPPENS TOO. (MAKING OUT NOT INCLUDED)

SASHA: RAZ IS AWESOME!
RAZ: And that means I'm a Psychonaut, right? RIGHT?!
SASHA: LOLOL. No.
LILI: BUT...RAZ'S BRAIN IS TEH AWESOME. IS IT NOT?
RAZ: WHAT SHE SAID!
MILLA: It would suck if Oleander appeared right now.

DRAMATIC PAUSE...

OLEANDER: HEY GUESS WHAT I'M HERE!
RAZ: YOU SUCK OLEANDER. NOW, LIKE DIE OR SOMETHING!
OLEANDER: AHAHA, NO.
LILI: RAZDOSOMETHING. O:
RAZ: I'll defeat him because I'm awesome.
MILLA: NOYOUWON'T. Me and Sasha'll take care of this...right?
SASHA: Uh, RIGHT. :D
MILLA: SOYOUTWOGONOWKTHXBYE. :{{{
RAZ and LILI: [pushed out the window]
OLEANDER: AHAHA, I KEEP LAUGHING MANIACALLY.
SASHA: That's because your insane. :/
OLEANDER: ...YES! AHAHA!
MILLA: AMBUUUUUUUUUSH.
OLEANDER: OMGZ.
SASHA and MILLA: GRR!
CRULLER: HI. O:
OLEANDER: ...Cruller's here? YAYWE'REGOINGTODOEVILTHINGS!
CRULLER: ONTEHCONTRARYI'MNOT. 'Cept I'm not supposed to be doing things right now.
OLEANDER: Oh.

MEANWHILEZ...

EDGAR: Yay! This painting's done. I'm gonna leave now. [pulls the shackles off from the floor and breaks a gas pipe underneath] Uhohz! *sniff* Good thing the gas isn't on!
GLORIA: Hey, Edgar. I turned on the water and nothing's happening.
EDGAR: I SMELL GAS NOW! WTF?
FRED: HEY, EDGAR. LET'S GET OUT OF HERE.
EDGAR: YEAH! O:
BOYD: [still standing outside]
FRED, EDGAR and GLORIA: ...HEY BOYD.
BOYD: [jumps, all surprised. the milk flies out of his hand and lands inside the asylum] WHA?
FRED: We're gonna leave the asylum because apparantly we're not crazy anymore.
BOYD: YAY!
FRED: What should we do first?
BOYD: LET'S MOW A LAWN! :D
FRED, EDGAR and GLORIA: YAY!

MEANWHILE ELSEWHERE.

RAZ: WE'RE STILL FALLING. O:
LILI: But we shouldn't be.
RAZ: So Milla forgot to do that sheild thinger. We still get there the- [gets impaled on the fence] OW. IMPALATION. [dies and respawns] I'M OKAY!

BACK AT THE PLACE.

CRULLER: [tosses confetti]
MILLA: PARTY! Wait, what?
OLEANDER: Yay, a par- wait, this isn't confetti. *ACHOO*

*'SPLODE!*

LILI: I'M SUDDENLY INTERESTED IN SOMETING OVER THERE!
RAZ: [notices huge piece of concrete flying out of the asylum in Lili's general direction] HOSHIZ. [saves her with sheildyness]
LILI: WTF MATE?
RAZ: FLYING CONCRETE CAN KILL YOU. D:<
LILI: But I'm safe now SO LET'S FIGURE OUT WHAT THE HELL JUST HAPPENED!
SASHA and MILLA: WE DID IT!
CRULLER: My back hurts! .~.;
OLEANDER: TV? O:
RAZ and LILI: THEY DID IT! :D
GIGANTIC BRAIN TANK: NO THEY DIDN'T. AHAHAHA.
SASHA, MILLA, CRULLER, RAZ and LILI: OMFG.
GIGANTIC BRAIN TANK: YOU FOUR, GO AWAY. *ZAP!*
SASHA, MILLA, CRULLER and LILI: OWWZ. [blasted into next week]
GIGANTIC BRAIN TANK: YOU. ME. BATTLE. NOW.
RAZ: ... [throws the block that almost killed Lili at the tank]
GIGANTIC BRAIN TANK: OWWZ.
RAZ: THAT'S FOR SHOOTING LILI. AND NOW I SHALL DESTROY YOUR BRAIN. [flies to the top of the tank all AWESOMIZE style]
GIGANTIC BRAIN TANK: CONFETTI'D!
RAZ: *sneeze*
RAZ'S BRAIN: [conveineintly lands in the brain tank] YAY!
OLEANDER'S BRAIN: Merp.
RAZ'S BRAIN: Wait a click, where am- OHNOEZ!

WOOOOOOOOOHHH~!

RAZ: Hey, it's that stupid caravan again. D:< If Sasha were here, he'd tell me go in and then call me a n00b. [goes in the caravan]
LITTLE OLY: HI, I'M GONNA GROW UP AND BE AN ASS TO LITTLE PSYCHIC KIDS LIKE MYSELF!
RAZ: YOU SHOULD DIE! :D
LITTLE OLY: I KNOW. LOL.
RAZ: So, what's up?
LITTLE OLY: I can't find my bunny.
RAZ: [glances to his left] He's over there.
LITTLE OLY: Oh. K. [goes to get him, and flies upwards] OHNOEZ I DROPPED HIM AND HE'S HOPPING AWAY.
RAZ: I hate you. [follows him and grabs the bunny again]
LITTLE OLY: YAAAY!
RAZ: ...D-Do you hear stomping in the distance? Like we're about to make a horrible Jurassic Park reference?
LITTLE OLY: OMGZ IT'S MY DAAAAAAAAAAAAAAD!
BUTCHER: LOLOLOL KILL TEH BUNNIEZ.
RAZ: O_O; ...I'll be right back. [hides in a corner and eats 7 packs of dream fluffs]
RAZ'S DAD: O HEY ITZ TEH FAILURE
RAZ: Nice to see you too, pop.
RAZ'S DAD: U SHOULD PH34R ME BCUZ I M UR DADEE. plus i haz teh hypnocrotch!
RAZ: I BEZ NOT PH34RING BECAUSE I'M SUPPOSED TO BE DOING SOMETHING ELSE THAT I CAN'T REMEMBER FOR SOME REASON.
BUTCHER: RWARRRRR!
RAZ: Oh yeah, I remember now. See ya later, Dad!
RAZ'S DAD: YEAH, WHATEVER. [throws a flaming pin]
RAZ: *thuk* Owz. [dies and respawns]
BUTCHER: MORE RAWRING!
RAZ: ...YOU DIE NOW. [shoves him into the chopper]
RAZ'S REAL DAD: Ewwwwwz. D:<
RAZ: HEY, MY REAL DAD!!1
RAZ'S FAKE DAD: NO, I'M RAZ'S REAL DAD!
RAZ'S REAL DAD: Your name OBVIOUSLY says FAKE DAD. So... [blasts him into the chopper] Die.
RAZ'S FAKE DAD: OWOWOWOWOW.
RAZ'S REAL DAD: BAD MISINTERPRETATION OF MYSELF. NO COME BACK TO LIFE. STAY DEAD. NO COOKIE.
RAZ: So that's done...now what?
RAZ'S REAL DAD: We gotta somehow pull you and Oleander's brains apart because they keep sexing each other.
RAZ: I don't even want to know why you used that word.
BUTCHER/FAKE DAD: RWARRRR! WE IS NOW UNIFIED!
RAZ: OHNOEZ!
BUTCHER/FAKE DAD: We's gonna keel you!
RAZ'S REAL DAD: Don't make my son level up!
RAZ: HOW DO YOU MEAN?
RAZ'S REAL DAD: ORANGES. [does mind zappy stuff]
RAZ: [becomes huge orange giant thing] OH. MAN. This is sweet.
RAZ'S REAL DAD: BATTLE TIME NOW. YAY!
SUPER RAZ and BUTCHER/FAKE DAD: [do battle]
SUPER RAZ: FINAL FANTASY VII ATTACK RIPOFF!
RANDOM ASTEROID: [bounces on and kills Butcher/Fake Dad]
BUTCHER/FAKE DAD: [dies, Ristar style]
SUPER RAZ: [reverts to normal]
RAZ and RAZ'S REAL DAD: YAY. [running backwards] OMG?
LITTLE OLY: Thanks for murdering my dad!
RAZ: Murder is my left name, Miss America! :D
LITTLE OLY: Whatever, dude. I'm free! YAYAYAYAY! BUNNY CIRCUS TYME! [floats away]
RAZ: Yeah, fun times.
RAZ'S REAL DAD: Murder is your left name? O_o;
RAZ: ...Sh-shut up.

In the real world...

LILI: Welcome back. HAPPY FATHER'S DAY.
RAZ: You sure it's not Anti-Father's Day?
LILI: I'm sure. Unless the calender company made a huge typo. But they came through with a fox succubus with buttwings!
RAZ: What?
LILI: Never mind. Let's go back to camp.
SASHA: We're already at camp.
LILI: We're already at camp!

THEY'RE ALREADY @ CAMP!

CRULLER: Here, Raz. Have a trophy. And a new outfit!
RAZ: [suddenly in new outfit] So does this mean what I think it means?
LILI: We're gonna have a Three-Trophies-And-Psychonaut-Initiation Party?
RAZ: Really? I thought it was still my birthday.
LILI: No. It's not.
RAZ: [sulks a moment]
LILI: Here's your third trophy. [hands Raz a trophy]
RAZ: YAY.
SASHA: Unfortunatly, we're going to have to cut this party short. [a record halts in the background] We just found out that Lili's father was kidnapped.
RAZ: OHNOEZ!
LILI: It IS Anti-Father's Day?! [cries]
SASHA: So everyone that's important get in the...plane thingie.

[camera pans over the blue aircraft type thing]

RAZ: So, we're having a space adventure where we make friends with a zombie skeleton and then Lili gets kidnapped by a fat, purple alien with intentions of destroying an entire planet with a Lili-powered ray gun and then we all die for a week, but we come back and crash on an underwater planet because Sasha threw my lucky nickel off the ship and Milla goes insane and locks Lili in the closet where later she goes on a rampage and kills all the Sea Peepz and then we find out she's really a robot and then I discover a locker that goes into a tunnel where the Aquacalcom is kept but we don't know that yet and then we all get captured by a horde of robots who want to destroy the universe but we somehow escape back to Earth and discover that everyone got new designs?
SASHA: No.
RAZ: Okay, good.
LILI: That was long-winded.
RAZ: AH KNO. So let's go.

SASHA, LILI AND RAZ BOARD THE AIRCRAFT.

MILLA: WAIT!

MILLA DOES TOO.

LILI: Wait, what about Cruller? He could totally be useful.

AND SO DOES CRULLER.

RAZ: And my dad?

NO. THE END UNTIL PSYCHONAUTS 2!

LILI: Suckage!


Last edited by Mashi An'krekku; 03-23-2006 at 07:36 PM. Reason: Missing words!
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