View Single Post
Old 07-14-2006, 12:12 AM   #17
T.Nova's Avatar
Join Date: Jun 2006
Location: CT, United States
Posts: 87
Thanks Konohomaru. Taking that into account, I might try to get around to editing chapter 1 & 2 next week or so to make it easier to understand. (Hence the Work in Progress abbreviation in the title)

Overall I'll try and shorten some things up here and there, as well as clear up the details. I admit I feel that I exaggerated Davik's character a bit, and probably tried too hard at portraying his personal thoughts and such. Sort of drags the chapters a bit.

Alright heres the fourth entry. I divided it into three scenes seperated by the pattern of stars (*). This chapter's bulk is comprised of mostly dialogue, so its not exactly as long as it appears. This chapter though, primarily introduces two new characters to the story. Hope you enjoy

Chapter IV – Welcome to the Rackets

A thumping noise was coming from the door. “Mr. Kang… Mr. Kang”. The thumping continued. I was sleeping rather comfortably in my bed. I slowly rolled over onto my back and replied “Yea!”

“Torivena requests your presence in the meeting room. He has an assignment for you and your friend”

I was hoping he would tell me that breakfast was ready or something. I started to sit up slowly, trying to shake off the laziness of a good sleep.

“I’ll be there shortly”

The man left after that. I stood up and threw on a black T-shirt lying on a counter across the room. Then I began my way towards the door, opened it and headed down the corridor. Wonder what this could be…

I followed the path the protocol droid led us through yesterday until I reached the small room with the oval table. Once I opened the door and walked in, Torivena, Rance and two other persons were sitting at the table with their attention focused on me. One was a female human like us; the other was a red Twi’lek. They were all fully dressed.

“I overslept?” I inquired.

“Its not a problem” Torivena said.

I took a seat around the middle of the table. The Twi’lek was seated behind me towards the end of the oval. Rance was across from me on the other side while the woman was behind him. Torivena sat at the head of the table.

“Let us introduce ourselves first shall we. Davik and Rance, that is Ahita” he extended his arm towards the woman’s direction. “And over there is Pramman” extending his left arm at the Twi’lek. We greeted each other with short nods.

Toivena then went on to mention. “Ahita here is from the noble Othar family here on Taris, while Pramman has been with this organization since the end of the Great Sith War”

Rance and I nodded a bit, taking note of the little information given to us.

“Onto the task. You’re to escort Ahita to her family’s estate. Once you have done so you will visit several areas to collect credits from certain people. Pramman here has the experience, he will supply you with the right equipment and lead you to the locations. You are to accompany him in doing so.”

“For the last time Titus, I do not need an escort. I can get safely myself mind you” Ahita stated. She was obviously quite irritated.

“My dear lady, your safety is of utmost importance. Why just yesterday several mercenaries tried to kill me. If it wasn’t for these two gentlemen I would be floating in a bacta tank, or worse… deceased.” Torivena responded.

Rance, Pramman and I remained silent, as they continued to argue.

“For all we know, they were after something else. They were probably going for the...”

“Do not question my action do not challenge my decisions. Your father would agree with me. I will not let Eranus’ daughter’s death be my responsibility. Don’t debate with me any further”

After that Ahita simply obeyed and ceased to take it any further. Though she did demonstrate a slight bit of disapproval by folding her arms and showing a lack of attention by facing the wall.

“Excuse Ahita’s rash attitude, she doesn’t know what’s best for her. Now, take the speeder and bring Ms. Othar to her establishment. Afterwards Pramman should know where to find my… investors, and take you to them”. Torivena then left the room.

“Alright mates, lets gear up and be on our way shall we” Pramman stated.

***** ***** ***** ***** *****

We were cruising along in a luxurious, black four-person speeder with an open top. It was still mourning, but I could tell we were for a long day. Rance and I were seated in the rear; Ahita in the passenger seat while Pramman was doing the driving. For most of the ride, we didn’t speak much with each other. Rance and I were not used to traveling through the upper city’s urban landscape, so we constantly were looking around impressed with the sheer size and beauty of it all.

“So… you two are working for Torivena now?” Ahita asked, drawing our attention.

“You could say that” I replied.

“What do you think of him?” She inquired another question moments after.

I thought it about it for a second, and answered

“He’s alright I suppose. Got to give it him credit, he’s got everything a man can want. Money, power, the works.” Then Rance made a response shortly after.

“Yea, what he said.”

“I personally wish Torivena would stop treating me like a child. He should know I could take of myself. It’s always like this; even my father treats me this way.”

I didn’t feel the need to reply to her statement. And Pramman’s attention was completely focused on driving. Though after a second or two Rance said something.

“It’s probably because… they care for you.”

“Maybe, but if they cared enough they’d see I don’t want a hit squad everywhere I go”

Rance couldn’t find anything to say to that. It then remained silent in the speeder for the rest of the trip. Ahita’s estate was built on an upper city platform. The front of the estate was decorated and designed with rich trees, gardens and other vegetation. Pramman simply parked the speeder onto the courtyard platform.

“He we are Miss Othar” Pramman said. She hopped out with little regard that she could have simply opened the door.

“Perhaps we might be working together in the future.” she said. We nodded at her, and then she proceeded to the front door.

“Alright ya blokes, now that the princess has been delivered we can continue onto business. We’ll be collecting credits from various individuals and establishments all around Taris”

“Sounds like a good deal” Rance stated. I nodded my head in agreement.

***** ***** ***** ***** *****

Pramman then took the speeder across the sector, and parked into a garage. He then led us through several structures and platforms until we reached a small merchant retail shop. When we opened the door, a man was sitting behind a counter integrated into the back wall. However when he noticed us, or at least Pramman, he looked quite surprised.

“Oh no!” he exclaimed nervously.

“Utapu, you better have those credits” Pramman went on, he then started towards the counter. Rance and I followed closely behind him.

“Wait a minute, I can explain!”

“You think Torivena’s services can be used freely? You’re already late on paying your dues!”

“Please… the depression has been hurting business… It’s been difficult to generate solid profits as of late”

Pramman reached the counter, with an expression designed to intimidate Utapu.

“All I have is six hundred credits… please for the Force’s sake lend me one more extension. I can give a down payment but that’s all for now. Just don’t kill me…”

A brief moment of silence dragged on, Pramman was apparently considering Utapu's fate.

“I won’t kill ya.” Pramman answered.

“Oh thank you! Thank you!” Utapu was indeed thankful. But his relief was short lived.

“Rance… take care of him”

“NOOOOOOOOOO!” Utapu howled before being injected several times by Rance’s blaster.

Several seconds went by while I thought to myself. Was that really a smart thing to do? I went on to inquire Pramman.

“Why did you that? If you allowed him an extension he could have paid his dues.”

Pramman gave me an eerie look.

“You sympathizing for him mate?”

“No Pramman. Though if you kill off the investors, Torivena is only going to end up losing credits, not gain them.”

Pramman nodded, acknowledging my reason. However he countered it with his own reason.

“Maybe. But we can’t earn a reputation for handing out slack to those who can’t pay up. I had personally given Utapu an extension several months before now, he was late as it is.”

I decided not to take the argument any further. Apparently Torivena trusted Pramman for a reason, so it was best to not question his decisions.

“Search the place for anything useful. We’ll be making a few more stops after this, though I don’t suspect we’ll be killing off anymore.. investors.” Pramman then looked at me and proceeded to imply clearly.

“We had to do it mate, we had to make an example of him. Many will know that the Exchange killed him, it’ll let people know not to play around with us.”

I nodded, letting him know I understood.

“Hey I found some a box back here!” Rance shouted out to inform us. He was shuffling through backroom behind the counter.

“There are six hundred credits, and some various items… I don’t know what they are exactly but they look pretty high-tech”

“Likely blaster and armor components. Utapu was a weapons merchant. Take the box, we’ll leave the body for the authorities to find.”

After that, we continued to collect credits from people around the city. We didn’t need make an example of anyone else. In fact most paid up without much of a problem. So the day went on rather smoothly. Though it was all rather mundane, I figured if we kept doing some small time jobs we’ll eventually have the opportunity to partake in something bigger.

My Fan Fiction - Davik Kang : Rise to Power

Last edited by T.Nova; 07-14-2006 at 12:22 AM.
T.Nova is offline   you may: quote & reply,