I'm not sure if that's really the way anybody meant it. I think what was meant in that particular case was if you can control your libidinous impulses in relation to others? (I.E.: Do you have any conscious control over who you find attractive sexually? For the record I know I don't.)
If you are heterosexual you are often undeniably attracted to many members of the opposite sex. Do you always have sex with everyone you find desirable? No, of course not. (Well, that doesn't stop some folks from trying...) But you are attracted to them sexually. I have long tried to find a way to master this impulse with my higher mind, but have yet to conquer my libido in any significant way.
The same thing is exactly true of folks who are homosexual: just with members of the same gender. Can they control the impulse to be attracted sexually to other folks of the same gender. I doubt it. No more than I can control my eye for the ladies anyway.
Do they always have to act on this impulse? Again: No, of course not. And in the case of those who want to get married who are already in a long term monogamous relationship, that's pretty much the last thing they want. I don't see why we should think that monogamous gays are any less committed to fulfilling the contract of a long-term relationship any less than heteros.
However: Should gays never act on their libido just because society and religion have deemed it "wrong" and "icky"?
I don't think that's fair.
I don't pursue every woman I'm attracted to,.. but I sure as hell don't want anyone telling me to NEVER go after any one because somebody else has deemed it a "sin." I don't see why I should have to deny all my natural instincts and impulses to meet somebody else's strict narrow moral viewpoint and personal hangups about sex.
And I don't see how I can expect someone attracted to members of their own gender to do the same.
If it's fair for me to follow my nature in terms of romance... who am I to say that somebody else is displaying a lack of self-control if they do the same?
But that's simply not the same as saying that we are allowing folks off the hook for committing murder. While there are some people with severe mental illnesses that probably don't allow them the same distinction between right and wrong in terms of violence towards others, they are the rare exception.
Most people raised in our society have been taught the universally accepted societal contract that killing someone else is wrong in all but a few special cases, and are capable of making those distinctions.
Native XWA.Netter (Nutter?)