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Old 11-16-2006, 05:12 PM   #22
drunkymonkey
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Join Date: Jul 2005
Location: Newcastle, UK
Posts: 117
The 2nd chapter is very good. I like how you introduced all the main characters. I thought Razputin would have told Oleander about his family's curse though--after what they went through together in the Meat Circus I can't see why Raz wouldn't feel comfortable telling him--but that's just a minor grumble.
The "big bad boss" scene seemed a little cliche, and probably not as intimidating as you were aiming for, but you got to introduce the villain somehow.
I like where this is going. It's pretty dark--which I don't normally like, but I'm prepared to saunter amiably on--and the dialogue seems generally to be quite tight. I'm going to read chapter 3 for tonight/tomorrow.


LeChuck>Vader.
'Nuff said.
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