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Old 11-20-2006, 08:18 PM   #87
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Join Date: Jun 2006
Location: Connecticut
Posts: 1,296
Ross was a swirling sea of registration and death. He would have made any government paid employee proud. He punched through one zombies head only to reach another zombie behind it and handed it the form.

(Now for some reason zombies are compelled to fill out any papers given to them, much like they are compelled to consume human flesh and BRAINSSSS. This is a well known fact apparently, but this information is left out of most movies and other zombie related media as it is not as exciting to hear zombies moaning....What'sss maahh sooccial securityy nummmmber againnn??? Except for the cult favorite Day of the Zombies fillingout forms. In which numerous zombies can be heard moaning this throughout the movie while murdering people and getting brains on papers they are filling out.)

The zombie filled out the paper. Ross quickly used the paper in quick slicing actions to give the zombie the mother of all paper cuts. It fell into little pieces on the ground. He then withdrew his arm and hand from the other zombies skull, slicing that in half with the same peice of paper.

So far he had 54 signatures. The whole death of hundreds, people being eaten alive and destruction of millions of dollars of prpoerty damage was turning out to be a pretty succesful venture thus far. At this rate, he could have a few hundred after a few days. Also he would most likely be dead or a zombie himself at that time. Which would be sweet. A zombie Ninja in the government would be great for zombie rights everywhere. Not much has progressed since the previously afformention Presidental Zombie reawakening in 1985 which ended tragically in Cancun.

Out of nowhere a detached zombie hand landed on his shoulder. It caught his off gaurd. It began choking him trying to pick his nose. Which was cool. Except for the while choking thing. He began gasping unable to breathe. He couldn't cut it off because it's closeness to his neck and it's likeliness of him chopping his dome piece off. He began blacking out. Everything was gettting very distorted. Things began spinning. He had dropped the registrtion form in all this commotion, and it was just out of reach. He strecthed with all his might for the paper next to him. It was getting so hard just to focus. He barely managed to get a finger on it and dragged it toward himself. He was just about done and he knew it. It took everything he had but he brought the paper to his neck. The zombie hand paused. It was drawn between killing and filling out paper forms. IT panicked. It didn't know what to do. It finally released it's grasp on Ross' neck and grabbed the paper. It started filling it out in a hurry most likely to get back to killin'. Ross grabbed his sword and brought it down hard on the hand. He was wheezing and releaved to be free from the grip.

He heard a cackling laugh. He whipped around to see a white clad man in a white top hat. It was the PIRATE POOP DAWG"S HENCHEMAN THE WIZARD. And in his hand was a voter registration form for ..........THE PIRATE. And it had at least a hundred signatures....

Carrot top fell from the ceiling surronded by broken glass from the skylight he just busted through. He landed right onto of a zombie destroying it and spraying blood all over. He got up without missing a beat. He ripped the head off the nearest zombie and said "Looks like he's a HEAD CASE! Yuck yuck yuck." He then freakin' crushed the head in his massive man grip. Just then his prop-chest came smashing through the next closest skylight. It too landed on a zombie. But the zombie got back up and was now covered in hilariously zany props. All other zombies saw this and laughed at the zombie. Who then felt self conscious and spontaniously combusted. Which was awesome. Carrot Top ran over to the prop chest and began rummaging through it. His reighn of terror had just begun.

Then another skylight suddenly expoloded. (luckily this mall featured the most skylights of any mall anywhere, ever.) Steven Segal flew through the smashed glass. His arms were outstretched as if he was feeling the very fabric of reality and was embraced within it as one, a beautiful joining of life and nature. Zombies everywhere looked up in awe. And CRIED. TEARS OF JOY. It was the most beautitful thing any of them, or for that matter any person ever in history of mankind has ever seen.

Time seemed to be crawling by, as if in slow motion. And it was. Because he wanted it to be. He banked left and then leveled off and did a loop de loop with amazing grace and ease. He began twirling in a tornado of awesomeness and lowered himself to the ground. He landed and seconds afterwards the air around him finally stopped swirling and everything was still again. Everything was still until he began his awesomeness......

Also another skylight exploded and Shadow came flying through. He farted.

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