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Old 12-07-2006, 01:42 PM   #123
Comedy Gold!
igyman's Avatar
Join Date: Jan 2006
Location: White City
Posts: 3,486
Current Game: Overwatch
Forum Veteran  Helpful!  Contest winner - Fan Fiction 
Oooh, very very nice, JM12. I'm glad you're back to being original and creative. Unlike the previous chapter that had a bunch of lines from the movies, the one I recognized in this one was a nice touch (Draconis' ''Oh no, my friend...'', or should I say, Dooku's?), which proves that it's all about moderation. The previous chapter, IMO, had way too many such quotes pronounced by your characters, which was the reason I didn't like it. This one was done very nicely and I hope your future chapters retain the same quality.
And as the finishing touch [Grammar Police mode] I noticed a spelling error - you wrote lightening, instead of lightning. The 'e' shouldn't be there, unless you were referring to some other Force power.[/Grammar Police mode]

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