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Old 09-21-2007, 02:35 PM   #723
Local curmudgeon
machievelli's Avatar
Join Date: Jul 2005
Location: Las Vegas Nevada
Posts: 2,874
Current Game: Dungeonseige series
10 year veteran!  Hot Topic Starter  Veteran Fan Fic Author  Helpful! 
I had an interesting time getting this review done. First there was only one new post here, and KFM were in the throes of their annual 'pirate' motif. So I was sure I wouldn't have anything to review.

But the pirate flag vanished yesterday, but LF was down.

Go figure. But I did it.


Rogue in the Mist
Jedi Master Ariana

Alternate Universe 15 years after the Star Forge: One event can change your entire life.

In the sentence ‘Sage didn’t regard her brother’s voice with movement’ I think you meant reward. When it comes to complaints and editing that is pretty much it.

A very well done piece. Unfortunately, I never have the time to read all of anyone’s works; real life, work and my own writing interferes. But this one is one I think I would really enjoy reading. The one section I did read didn’t tell me who the ‘father’ was, but made me wonder why his children would be that important to Revan. But I want to find out.

The Silent Listener

After the Leviathan incident: When you need someone to talk to, it doesn’t matter who or even what they are…

The piece is well written, the story easy to follow, and intriguing. My only complaint is that you didn’t let us hear the message. I think it would have helped the Exile a lot to hear that the same problems she is having are not unique.

The Evanescent Orphan

After TSL: It takes a thief to catch a thief…

I think you meant come on when you wrote common. That is an editing problem, and that is all I saw wrong with this piece on a technical level.

Breaking Down
Lady Revan

After the Leviathan Incident: Sometimes even the strongest needs to be held.

The piece grips you and drags you along. While that sounds violent, it’s a willing capture as LR drags you along, makes you see what Revan sees, feel what Revan feels. My first pick of the week.

If Everyone Cared

After the Leviathan revelation: Can Carth be convinced to trust her again?

I am not much on songfics, but this was good albeit short. Having the entire work be dialogue is an interesting twist.

Second Thoughts
Prisoner24601 and Dinah Lance

Three years after KOTOR: Divorced from the Jedi, Revan has second thoughts about her choices.

Both Prisoner and Dinah have graced these pages before, and this collaboration is the best yet. The characters live, their feelings for each other are real, and I wonder as Revan did, if it was real or not. But being willing to take that chance is what love is all about.

Others above have given the authors problems because of the interplay, but what I saw was the teasing you'd expect from any pair trying to make a fresh start and feeling a bit uncomfortable with it. One complaining about how much luggage, the other claiming to have left most of her shoes, then the man passing over what he had done buying a bed by claiming he'd merely bought the most expensive one.

My second pick of the week.

Time to erase the past and make it new…

After TSL: So much that was lost can be gained if you reach out for it.

The phrase ‘the ship she took’ suggests present tense. It would have been better to say ‘The ship she had taken’ instead. That said I loved it. The idea that the one you love now is like the one you first loved is an old story, but it is handled here superbly. The only way it could have been better would have been arriving on Telos to discover that Carth and Brianna had gotten together for the very same reason.

My third pick of the week.

The True Exile

After Leviathan revelation: Sometime you just need some sense slapped into you…

The piece is well written, the situation well portrayed. While some have given you grief because of the slapping scene, I remember friends of mine in Greek and Italian families where when you stuffed your foot in your mouth like Carth did, everyone felt they had the right to slap some sense into you. I was just surprised that Canderous didn’t either hit him or tell him how much of an idiot he was. In fact if he had merely given him that minatory look and stalked out, it would have been perfect.

Badgering Business, chapter 1
Kim Badger

Before KOTOR: A look behind the sets in the making of Revan…

Though each of us has our version of Revan, how and why she was reprogrammed her, most of us have not looked behind the scenes as it were, seen the famous ‘man behind the curtain’ from the Wizard of Oz. A refreshing look at the situation.

Not Much of a Love Story—Ch. 1

After the Leviathan revelation: Everyone has issues to work out…

The style is good, the angst very real. We all know both Revan and Carth have to fight their way through this, and we know or at least hope they will succeed.

Those to Come - Prologue

In interim between KOTOR and TSL: Revan is driven to make a decision.

The style is good, the story well rounded. A pity I won’t have time to read it all.


After KOTOR: Sometimes the only one that can forgive you is you.

McFinnegan has at times shown us humor or shown us angst.

But this was perfect. I only wish it was the only one I can say this next about.

My fourth pick of the week.

'To argue with those who have renounced the use and authority of reason is as futile as to administer medicine to the dead.' Now who said that?

From the one who brought you;
What we die for...
KOTOR excerpts
Star Wars: The Beginning
Star Wars: Republic Dawn
Return From Exile
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