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Old 10-19-2007, 03:34 PM   #734
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Join Date: Jul 2005
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The True Sith
Jaina Solo

A few weeks after KOTOR: Struggling with what she once was, Revan makes plans for going into the Unknown Regions

I love it when some of the best is the first I see. The story has an excellent start, the style clean and crisp, the motives behind continuing well defined. Another one of those I wish I had time to read in itís entirety. Already on my list for pick of the week, and itís only the first Iíve seen today.

The Jedi and the Mandalorian:

After Revanís return from the Outer Regions: A long delayed reunion approaches

I can understand your frustration RR. You bust your hump, put it down on paper, tweak it, edit it, rewrite it, present it and nada. But you did good kid. If that isnít enough praise, how about this:

On my list for pick of the week

Carth and The Fangirl

Alternate Universe: Carth faces his fans, sort ofÖ

Here I am, having read a serious work above, then a poignant one after it.

And I get blindsided by this one. Too choice, and very funny, especially the end.
So what can I say?

Another pick of the week

Final Battles

30 years after TSL: Everyone faces their own final battle.

The piece was so well done, the characters well defined, I hated to read it this week because everything I have read so far was so great. The end for Canderous was so perfect that I couldnít complain beyond the same one about the period of time. If it had happened when it was just her and the children (Say fifteen years) it might have been better.

The only kudo I can give here is what I have already said above.

Right now Iím hoping on one side that all are that good, or nothing else comes up to this level. Because so far everything has been pickedÖ

Even When All the Moons Stop Shining

Seven Years after KOTOR: Will the love still be there?

The only complaint I have is with this one sentence:
ĎTheir sole duty was to make sure she showed up on time for whatever dinner or celebration one senator or another wanted the famous crew of the Ebon Hawk to make an appearance at.í Where you needed to smooth it out.

That said, the work is excellent and the way you set it up perfect.

Finger Puppets

During TSL: What does the exile do for amusement? Well sheÖ

Minor problems with spelling and smoothing out the work, nothing that editing canít cure. You keep repeating craft which I knew meant arts and craft but it caused me to stumble when I was reading. Donít feel bad, I tell everyone they need to edit, and I edit my own work over and over.

The basics of the story are good, the idea that a rough tough warrior would find finger puppet amusing was cute, but the Ďget revenge on Attoní part was really choice.

Leviathan - Part One

KOTOR During Leviathan Incident: A generic retelling of the scene.

The work is good, the scene well laid out. I agree that you should avoid the standard dialogue, but that is my own quirk.

When I wrote my own version of the escape I liked each one so much that I just combined them (The Crew that wishes to remain nameless) figuring in real life that none of them would merely sit in a cell and allow themselves to be abused.

Well worth the read.

Dark Origin
Tasca Lumina

Approximately six months after TSL:

Remember conversation breaks. Remember to edit so the style is smoother.

The basics are good and the storyline compelling. The comments above were the only stumbling blocks I ran into, and they are an editing problem.

Technical note: A capital ship is a battleship or battle cruiser, none of which actually exist if you want to be technical about classes they are given in the games books movies etc. The Republic ships of the game are usually called Frigates, which are smaller vessels though I think that is more lack of specific knowledge by the writers.

I have always considered the Corellian Frigate and the Mon Calamari ships from The Return of the Jedi as light and heavy cruisers with the Star Destroyer also heavy cruisers and SSD as battleships.

The Many Woes of Bastila Shan
Katara Ironarm

KOTOR on Tatooine: During a storm, Canderous and Bastila have a private moment

There was one word usage problem; the term is rerouting, not resorting.

The basics are there, the scene interesting enough to keep you going. The idea that Canderous would be actually nice to Bastila was an interesting twist, as was her reaction to it.

Tasca Lumina

KOTOR, The Destruction of Taris: What, you mean he had another reason?

You forgot conversation breaks a couple of times. Again, editing problems.

The story is interesting, the reasoning behind Malakís callous destruction a bit sad. It needs work, but it still is one of my picks of the week

Broken Promises
Lady Revan

After KOTOR: Where can you run from yourself?

The writing is up to her usual high standards, the story excellent. The idea that Revan had literally Ďrun away from homeí before heading for the Outer Regions is an intriguing possibility. Another of those I wish I could get full copies of so I can read it.

Another pick of the week

Showdown With a Little Old Man

KOTOR on Taris: Hatred will make you do things.

Considering how much I loathe the average bigot this story was a breath of sweet air. The one part of Taris that always irked me was that you didnít get a chance to put that old SOB in his proper place.

Tat, I am not giving you another pick of the week. Primarily because youíre getting a best author of the week from me. Everything Iíve seen this week of yours was good.

'To argue with those who have renounced the use and authority of reason is as futile as to administer medicine to the dead.' Now who said that?

From the one who brought you;
What we die for...
KOTOR excerpts
Star Wars: The Beginning
Star Wars: Republic Dawn
Return From Exile
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