View Single Post
Old 10-20-2007, 12:21 AM   #735
Phantom Knight
BAANAAANAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!
 
Phantom Knight's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: A figment of your imagination
Posts: 2,228
Current Game: Mass Effect
Hot Topic Starter 
Sorry for not replying. Anyway, I apoligise for making this Fic suck, but hey, at least its better than AVP (However, the sequel looks awsome).

Quote:
Originally Posted by machievelli
Your description of the city is a bit confusing. You take two completely artificial habitats, and add in a normal albeit huge city. My suggestion would be to make that section flow better, leave out references to any specific place, but work in the utter artificiality of the habitat.
Yeah, sorry. I feel I didn't give the full description of the city in the prologue, so I gave more detail in the second chapter.

Quote:
Originally Posted by machievelli
The medical science of Star Wars should be significantly advanced over what we have or will have within say the next century. And they are used to dealing with several hundred thousand different ecosystems...

It is also unlikely they wouldn’t have something that would detect an unknown life form.
I was under the impression that if the embryo were to remain undiscovered, and suddenly bursts out of the guys chest, it would make a nice twist and introduction of the alien. But now that you mention it, I suppose the medical staff lacking the technology to detect the alien (when it is the Star Wars universe) does seem kinda crummy.

Anyway, to make up for my mistakes, I'll re-edit my last chapters so they can meet with everybody's standards. Happy?
Phantom Knight is offline   you may: quote & reply,