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Old 11-23-2007, 12:57 PM   #747
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Join Date: Jul 2005
Location: Las Vegas Nevada
Posts: 2,874
Current Game: Dungeonseige series
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An intersting week. Forgot thanksgiving, then found out my computer was starting to check the hard drive, which suggests problems with the system. Then I found out that the reason for it is a bad battery.


Epilog: Tabula Rasa

Alternate Universe aftermath of KOTOR: A man with no memory struggles to understand his situation.

Nothing comes to mind that needs real correcting or editing, though I never really stop editing when I write.

The piece is dark, the scene stark, and I loved it. We the observers know who the man is, but the struggle he has trying to discover what has happened draws you along with him. First pick of the week.


After KOTOR: Alone on Malachor V, Revan struggles with her ghosts and her past.

The piece needs some polishing, but other than that, itís excellent.

The premise is good, the inner struggle manifesting in external visions. The end was a bit fluffy for me, but that did not stop it from being well worth your time.

Another pick of the week.

Family is More than Blood

On Taris: Carth discovers more about his new associate.

Some word usage problems. Top instead of too, bequest (Given from a will) instead of behest (request) that kind of thing. Also the term is overrun instead of run over when a place has been invaded.

The basic piece is well done journeyman style work.

Technical: The id plate reading fluctuated between being military precise, and haphazard. A minor thing, but I disturbed me a bit. But that is because I have read such reports.

Long Road to Taris

Starting Two Years Before KOTOR: A young woman becomes our Hero aboard Endar Spire

I have to agree it isnít as well polished and laid out as your usual work, though your style still shows through. The running battle through the Endar Spire was truncated, making it almost seem as if it wasnít the backdrop for the entire end.

My primary complaints are technical; why would you have an embassy, which is by definition an enclave of another nationís soil, in the capital of the Republic? Second, even if you were frantically hiring mercenaries to fight for you, military discipline would be maintained. In composite units discipline would actually be stricter than the average recruited military unit. Check out the example of the French Foreign Legion for a better idea,

Canon note: The game book for KOTOR defined the Endar Spireís class of ship as Frigate, not cruiser.

Revan's Challenge

After Star Forge: Revan has to make a choice

Others have reviewed this and everything negative I can think of to say has been addressed. I disagreed that the first real explosion of her emotion was unnecessary. Sometimes you have to try to break yourself out of that circle when youíre mad, and a primal scream will do that. A bit over the top true.

The piece does need some work in the areas commented on. But the end made up for it.

Revan: Back in Five

After KOTOR: As Revan leaves, she all ready regrets it

The style was good the byplay of emotions well done. The point of her leaving, and why she couldnít even tell her love why cuts to the quick of the situation.

Another Pick of the week.

The Cantina Syndrome

After TSL: As they scour the Unknown Regions, Arista (the Exile) discovers what Revan calls the Cantina Syndrome.

The style is good, the flashbacks well linked to the present and full. Revanís description fits what I know from my own life, that memories are always there, itís just that they seem to come out more in a bar setting.

Another pick of the week

Parting is Such Sweet Sorrow

Alternate Universe, KOTOR: You donít need a Jedi to solve every problemÖ

Verna already said a good bit about this and agree with her assessment. The biggest problem I had with both KOTOR games was that a lot of the side quests were mere fluff, such as this incident and the murder at the bridge. You donít need keen Jedi sense to work either one, merely a minor degree of deduction for one, and common sense (Mixed with humor) for the other. The additional line tossing Zalbaarís name in would only have been made more silly if he had moaned Missionís next.

Not only a good first attempt, but also one of my picks for this week.

damnatio memoriae 1: dreams
Verna Jast

During KOTOR: A girl can dreamÖ

A bit hard to follow at first, but once you understand what is happening, itís subtle, twisting in your mind as you see the two version of what is not only happening and what might have been. The end of the dreams, when she is forced to go back to reality twists the knife even more.

Well worth the read, and a pick of this week.

Why her name is Star...

During Interim in the Unknown Regions: Revan finds maternity an uncomfortable fit at first.

The story is a basic human tale, with the humor of not only a gentle helper, but also the woman who seems at points disgusted and terrified by the process. Having been around women who were at this stage of their pregnancies I could picture each scene like a gentle painting. One of my Picks of the Week.


During KOTOR: Will Carth admit he was wrong in time?

Skye has done it again. The work is well laid out, the feelings fitting the mood and the mood setting the pace. Worth every second of time spent reading.

One of the Picks of the week.

Drunken Admissions

After the Leviathan Revelation: It can be so hard to say.

The piece was cute, though as Verna pointed out, the first paragraph was redundant. The hesitancy, disappointment, even yearning came through lightly veiled, the reaction by the end already apparent. As a first posted work it is an excellent introduction.

One of the picks of this week.

'To argue with those who have renounced the use and authority of reason is as futile as to administer medicine to the dead.' Now who said that?

From the one who brought you;
What we die for...
KOTOR excerpts
Star Wars: The Beginning
Star Wars: Republic Dawn
Return From Exile
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