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Old 02-01-2008, 11:47 AM   #769
machievelli
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Join Date: Jul 2005
Location: Las Vegas Nevada
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Consecrated Demise
Mr BFA

After TSL: As the Exile plans on following Revan, Revan is also discovering the truth.

The piece flow well but you have problems with cumbersome sentences. Try vocalizing the dialogue, read what you wrote, then listen to how it sounds. This is an editing problem.

Welcome back.

Animal or Metal?
JediMaster12

No specific time given though I believe after TSL: Who is the better, a machine or a guard animal?

Either just or merely since they mean pretty much the same thing in context and using it in the next sentence as well is redundant. Dark Ďandí not a. lowered not lower.

That being said the story is well written, the idea interesting enough to carry it. The interplay is done well because both antagonists have completely different perceptions of everything, and seeing the same situation through eyes and photoreceptors makes it very interesting.

Reality push
LadyXianghua

Before KOTOR II: The Exile is being hunted on Tatooine.

The style is good, though the grammar and word placement seems a bit odd to me. The character is well defined, yet as one of those that commented pointed out, no real description is given of her.

The period before the second game is a fertile place to do work, because there is no real mention of what she did for those first five years. I wish I had the time to read the entire work if this is but an example.

Reprise Pick of the Week

Pazaak
Foxfire

After KOTOR II: Atton plays Pazaak at a distance with the Exile.

The style is excellent, the only problem with the piece was it was too damn short, and in the comment section I am not the only one to say so!

27 people gave this a thumbs up, and if you read it, youíll see why.

Reprise Pick of the Week

Discipline
Icey cold

Time period not set, though probably during KOTOR I: The disciple and Exile talk about the inner workings of the Order.

The style is good, the byplay excellent.

It is not often that people looked under the surface of the order itself, and little has been done on the interim between the Mandalorian wars and the Exileís return. This work is definitely worth the read.

Reprise Pick of the Week

Echo
Rhiannon

The Exile is torn by the revelations on Dantooine

The style is good, the angst well turned and served. One of the best Iíve read in a long time.

Reprise Pick of the Week

Connections: Prologue and Chapter One
Rhiannon

The climactic battle at Malachor: Seen through the eyes of several characters.

Remember the conversation breaks, and editing is needed to take care of some of the word usage.

On the whole it is a well done piece. The story is well portrayed, the situation not only understandable, but enjoyable

Pick of the Week

The Tale of Baba Yaga, KOTOR-style
Charys

The tale of the Baba Yaga meets TSL head on.

Having read the tales of the Baba Yaga, and written my own full length KOTOR II novel, I think I know both stories well. With that out of the way, I have to admit, I didnít think they could be combined like this.

I like it!

Reprise Pick of the Week

The next author had back to back works I liked.

release
gekkeiju

During TSL: The Exile spends Attonís last moments of life wishing it had been different.

The author grabs you by the throat and drags you along in this piece. My only real complaint is that it is so short. 20 people gave this a thumbs up, and I agree.

and;

In your dreams, Part 1
gekkeiju

During TSL: The revelations of Attonís past.

gekkeiju had done another excellent piece here. Alike and different from the above reviewed work. The setting is excellent, the piece sublime in that you fully understand why the characters are arguing, and learn more about them in the telling. Well worth a read.

Reprise Pick of the Week

The Language of Love
Seraterranova

Set approximately a year after the Star Forge: Some in depth look at Telosian society, Revanís reaction to it, and what really happened.

The work is well done, the in depth look at the character is sublime, and the end a definite giggle. 24 readers gave it a thumbs up, and I understand why

Reprise Pick of the Week

Lucky
Lurai Valcorr

During visit to Nar Shaddaa in TSL: It isnít the gift, itís the thought.

I donít know how I missed this one the first time I went through, but I regret it now. The piece is a simple bit of work like a mere line art. But together, itís a picture word more words that I can give it.

Pick of the week.

Hyper Drive
Strifekun

TSL: Inside Attonís mind. Itís not a pretty pictureÖ

The piece is dark and gives you a chill. The inner workings of Atton show a lot of disturbance. Well worth the time to read.


'To argue with those who have renounced the use and authority of reason is as futile as to administer medicine to the dead.' Now who said that?

From the one who brought you;
What we die for...
Acceptance
KOTOR excerpts
Star Wars: The Beginning
Star Wars: Republic Dawn
Return From Exile
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