"I have a few tricks up my sleeve..." Cam laughed. Yea, I'm sure you do. Maybe you could really learn something from this, Jasper, like she said. Maybe not to be such an arrogant little....
Camevon wasn't exactly sure why he had so much disdain for him. He loathed the other's seeming arrogance - for that was what he considered it to be, just arrogance and feeling of superiority. While some part of him supposed that he might be slightly harsh in his judgment, and that Jasper might not actually be the kind of person he thought he was, Cam still disliked him. He saw the recent scene as merely another show of Jasper's arrogance and attention-grabbing.
A blinding pain entered his forehead and he gasped, shuffling away from the door so that he would not be heard. Rubbing his head, and trying to soothe the pain with the aid of the Force, he opened his eyes, seeing little black spots swim in his vision. After the few moments of incredible pain subsided, shook his head, and steadied himself.
Cam sighed in relief as the pain went away. Not the first time, he told himself. This had happened before, and he was not unduly worried. Cam remembered the pain when he had experienced it as a young child, still growing up, away from the Jedi Order. Absently he wondered if it was some kind of head injury he had received that caused the headaches, or if he had some kind of disorder.
At the moment, he didn't really care. The pain forgotten, Cam almost smiled as he remembered when the Jedi had first found him. His past was never something he wanted to overly dwell on, but there were always those times when it came rushing back to him. They had come, he had been found force-sensitive, and they had taken him. Away from the oppression, away from the small dirty town that he had been born in, away from arrogant and corrupt leaders.... away from his family.
At first, Cam had felt a feeling of excitement unrivaled by any that he had previously felt. And what had there been to be happy about in that small village? Finding enough food to survive for another day? Hearing the machinations of the greedy to strip all they could from the struggling farmers just to get as much money as they could?
And, after a while, the excitement had faded. He was very strong in the force, almost immediately taken by one of the Masters. He was proud of that. And yet, Cam still felt lost. Even here, even in the Order, even after the Grandmaster died, he still felt petty jealousy and arrogance.
Or was he wrong? Was he merely feeling emotions that were not there? Cam realized that he could be wrong, but... the Force was giving him these feelings. If he didn't trust the Force, then.... Cam shook his head. He was second-guessing himself. The only thing he could rely on was the Force. Even more than any of the Masters here, even more than his own Master.
For some reason, he felt closer to the Force than any other person alive. He couldn't bring himself to become truly one of them. Cam couldn't recall ever "liking" someone. All he remembered was respect, or no respect. Perhaps his Master. But then again, that could just be that he had so much respect for his Master he mistook it for friendship. Because all he respected was his power and their wisdom - as a person, he hardly knew him.
It doesn't matter. As long as I find the path I'm supposed to take, I won't be lost anymore. And with that resolution, Cam returned to the door to listen more intently.