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Old 02-14-2008, 05:11 PM   #775
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Carth's Wonderful Night

After KOTOR: A crossover of Scrubs; What do you do when you wake up the next morning.

Some confusing sentences. As an example when Revan asks for a story it should have been why ‘don’t’ you tell me a story. Every problem I saw could be corrected by editing.

Glory's Road

Before KOTOR, no specific time given: A man is formed in the heat of battle.

The start is good, the scenes done rather well. The only problem I had was historical.

According to the Chronology, the last war with the Sith specifically had been 40 years before the events of KOTOR, when Kavar was either young or not even born. The image used by the Game designers looks to be in his late 30s to early 40s. If you consider that the average Padawan is in his mid to late 20s, the events would have had to happen during the period before the Mandalorians attacked the Republic yet the events described are far more than a raid. More background is needed.


This weeks column has a little bit of everything so without further ado:

Light side female Revan

No Girls Allowed
Hairless Wookie

Climactic battle aboard Star Forge: The sign said what???

I was a bit upset at the first with Nurik being made an admiral. But from the moment Malak spoke, I lost it. Malak on drugs, Nurik unable to figure a way out of the mess, Revan unwilling to open a door because she’s worried about LS points. The way she got her light sabers was just icing on the cake.

Wildly silly, irreverent and worth every second!

Pick of the week.


KOTOR During Korriban mission: What are you willing to do for love? For that matter, what are you willing to forgive?

Extra right now in this sentence; “While the star map is important, for right now , I consider getting the evidence for Dustil most important right now, I just wanted you to know that.” A couple of times you left out a word. But all I saw were editing problems, easily corrected.

The piece is excellent. It shows how Revan could have gotten the information she needed, how Carth would have undoubtedly acted if he were a love interest, and gives a good idea of what he might have done after such a faux pas. The explanation of how the mental erasure worked was also excellent.

Outstanding work, and another pick of the week.

Delasaer Chval

After Revan‘s return: Trapped together, Mira and Dustil have to think about how to get along.

The piece is not too bad, needing editing more than anything. The pairing as the first person to comment said, is one you might eventually see, and it was definitely interesting. The Silent Order is the most interesting part of the story, and I hope more is written.

You Do Something to Me....
Griet Mutnojmet

After Leviathan revelation: Canderous Revan and Carth deal with a possible relationship between Canderous and Revan.

The situation is well done, the situation not perfect but still a work of art. Well worth the read.

A pick of the week.

dark side male Revan

Star Wars: Knights of the Old Republic (Prologue)
Prodigal Knight

Prologue to KOTOR: The Capture of Revan

Word usage problems, probably due to thinking faster than you write. A common problem, I suffer from it myself.

Technical note; Lasers are light speed weapons. If you are fired on by a laser, you know it when the weapon hits, not before. That is why I think as much as they call them ‘turbo lasers’ the weapons of the Star Wars galaxy are actually laser driven plasma instead of lasers.

Well done.

Light side Exile

More to the war than the battles
Jedi Valius

During the Mandalorian Wars: The difference between the Jedi and a soldier

While the basics, allowing an enemy prisoner to escape bothered me, I had to agree with the reasoning. The biggest problem in war over the centuries has been the treatment of prisoners, which has always been haphazard.
The writing is well done, the characters briefly sketched but still fleshed out.


After the climactic battle on Malachor V: To make a new beginning, first you must have an end of the old…

Several people have praised this, and I agree with those reviews. The idea that the planet itself had to be destroyed for the nightmare to end or at least abate it is well portrayed. The scenes of those lost were done in such a manner that they were easily visualized, from Kreia to Bao-Dur to G0T0, they fit.

Pick of the week.

The Blue Side of the Force: Part the First- In which a hippified Jedi joins the Exile

TSL on Citadel Station the first time: The exile picks up an unlikely ally.

The story was a bit irreverent. The idea of a tie-died Jedi was amusing, and classifying a light saber battle as art fits in well with the attitude of the JedI themselves. Well done.

What am I?

After Malachor V: Now that the adventure is done, the Exile runs with her faithful droids, and ponders what she has become.

The piece is deep introspection, and very well done in that vein. The reason for her condition was never adequately explained in the game, and where she would go from there sketched in only in very generic terms. Whether for good or ill, the questions remained.

Pick of the week.

Drunk Realities
Revan’s Pet Duck

TSL On Nar Shadaa after mission: A drunken night out doesn’t leads to?

The piece flows well, and as much as the author was worried that it was overdone, the drunken scene was very well done.

Pick of the week

'To argue with those who have renounced the use and authority of reason is as futile as to administer medicine to the dead.' Now who said that?

From the one who brought you;
What we die for...
KOTOR excerpts
Star Wars: The Beginning
Star Wars: Republic Dawn
Return From Exile

Last edited by machievelli; 02-22-2008 at 01:49 AM. Reason: typos
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