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Old 02-29-2008, 10:42 AM   #780
DarthJebus05
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Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 631
Quote:
Originally Posted by machievelli
29 Feb

The Last Hope: Episode One - The True Sith
DarthJebu05

Some editing problems, nothing that canít be corrected. The flow is a little off, and youíre pushing the pace. Ease off a bit, allow the story to flow naturally.

The premise is interesting so far. I am wondering how you are going to explain not only Revanís longevity but how the Star Forge still exists.
Thanks for the tips, I'll slow it right down after chapter four. Which I have just posted. I have a great plot twist and story line that will be fully explained in the coming chapters and episodes. Don't expect to be left in the dark!
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