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Old 04-04-2008, 11:08 AM   #790
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Join Date: Jul 2005
Location: Las Vegas Nevada
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Current Game: Dungeonseige series
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The Unfinished Tales: Forked
Bee Hoon

Just after the Mandalorian wars: The soon to be Exile and Kavar both consider the future.

The piece is well done, each first person section is clearly defined.

Pick of the week


Set in the legacy series: Jaina trains on Mandalore with Boba Fett.

The piece is well done, and interesting to read.

The Wrong Path
Darth Visilius

Set in the interim between TSL and The Rise of Darth Bane: A pair of Jedi face something they had not considered.

The basic structure is good, though as Rev7 already pointed out, it needs polishing. So, for the first time to you at least; reread, edit rewrite, and polish.

The story was interesting. The idea that a fallen Jedi has to lead the Sith is well explained.

Welcome to the forum, and here’s your first Pick of the week.

Radi Dvyx ("For The Sake of Two")

After TSL: Sequel to Vremya, the Exile gets a job?

The piece is as good as the first section. Well worth the read.

Dumb, Dumber, and Dumbest

One of the funnier pieces I have read in quite a while.

You might have noticed I praised all your pieces this week but didn’t give you a pick of the week on any. There’s a reason for that.

You’re getting only one pick but it’s for all three.

The Fate of the Galaxy Hacker

Imperial Era: From the March ‘The things we do for love’ Challenge, A hacker gets sentenced.

Now this was interesting Writer. You set the scene well, had the interrogator work with casual efficiency, and the only sticking point is like others have already mentioned, it’s only a prologue.

I never vote on the contests as I have said several times, but I would have voted for this one.

Pick of the week

Darth Nihilus Chapter # 1:Hunger for life
Lord Nihilus

Set in the interim before TSL: From the March ‘The things we do for love’ Challenge, The planet Katarr attack, and Visas’ capture.

There were problems that could have been repaired by editing. You used the wrong words some times Scull (row) instead of skull, that kind of thing. All of which would have been easily corrected.

The basis is good, just needs some tweaking.


Light Side Female Revan

In the End

KOTOR At the attack on the Star Forge: Revan worries about more than dying…

The characters are well portrayed the situation well defined. It was light and airy as angel food cake, and just as delightful.

Poisoned Past, Perilous Future

KOTOR on the Rakata Home world after the Star Forge: Can Revan ever return?

The style is good, the scene well laid and the conflicting emotions perfect. I did agree that it is the same basic scene from the game, but it was exceedingly well done.

Now spread your wings and give us something even more interesting.

Pick of the week

Who I Am
Blaine Averre

KOTOR During the climactic battle on the Star Forge: Struck by doubts, can Marianna Revan Cast accept who she is now?

The piece flows well, and the scene is one little touched by most authors. Having the machine pick what kind of person she had become was an interesting twist I liked.

Saga of Faces
Aster Corbett

During KOTOR: Carth’s thoughts.

The piece is well laid out, the view inside Carth’s mind well done.

Remnants of Who We Were

TSL, The tomb on Korriban: What is inside you?

The scene is relatively well done, but generic. All in all though well done.

'To argue with those who have renounced the use and authority of reason is as futile as to administer medicine to the dead.' Now who said that?

From the one who brought you;
What we die for...
KOTOR excerpts
Star Wars: The Beginning
Star Wars: Republic Dawn
Return From Exile
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