Coruscant Entertainment Center
The Lost Tales Of Revan
After TSL: Members of both crews are gathered to find Revan.
Some problems with word usage and spelling, Though there is no evidence, I would surmise the author is not a native English speaker. Some of the words used are almost as if trying to spell phonetically. Everything I would have said in a normal classroom situation have already been delivered by others, so I will not belabor them.
My major complaint is the brevity of the pieces. There is so much you can do yet with it. I await more.
Prizrachniy Chelovek (The Ghost)
After TSL: Seventh chapter of Vremya
Tys, you’re always doing this. Very good work, the brief interplay where the hero can’t find out what’s happening until she finishes her chore the perfect counterpoint.
Pick of the Week
Story Number One WHOOHOO
In the Aftermath of the death of the Empire: One loose end is taken care of.
The basics are good, but you depend too much on dialogue to carry the scene. And it is spelled virulence.
The rationalizations of both sides were well thought out. While brief and a bit unsatisfying, I liked it.
Most of the comments from other readers had dealt with the problems in the piece. The term pre-Republic was a bit confusing. Saying was pre-contact (As in before the Republic contacted the planet) or indigenous would have been better. One scene has the hero being fired upon and deflecting fire, but the wording isn’t clear as to who is doing what. A minor fix.
The basics are good, the piece worth reading.
Just the Way You Are
Aboard Ebon Hawk During KOTOR: Mission likes Gizka?
The piece is well written, albeit short. I agree with Jae, some more reason would have bee nice, but no matter.
PreKOTOR: A Padawan finds that some pleasures are still there.
It was well written BH, and seeing Revan and he Exile I assume as children was amusing. A light hearted romp, well worth looking at.
Pick of the Week
Chapter 1: No, You're Never Gonna Crack
Darth Xio Jade
Over a year after TSL and the Exile‘s departure: As bickering continues in the newly reformed Academy, Revan finds herself rescued… sort of.
Remember conversation and paragraph breaks. Everything there is of this so far is good, but that one thing distracted me. Keep it up.
Destiny: Part I
During TSL Just before Ebon Hawk heads to Malachor: Revan returns, but te war lingers…
Considering what I know about men coming back from combat, this story is poignant. Revan spends her time constantly on guard, afraid that she might be attacked, typical not of the average soldier, but the hard core veteran who spends months in combat. It takes time to get the sound of incoming out of your ears, something we have forgotten since Korea. The process we see begun here will take time. Very well done
Pick of the Week.
Malachor V: As the Exile is headed for her last confrontation, Malachor seems to be helping her get rid of her doubts.
The story is well done, what there is of it. The last line was a bit confusing, and as others have said, it is open ended. Very good work.
Possibilities 1: Exile and Bao-Dur
TSL In search of the last two Jedi Masters: A pair of people find comfort, and perhaps love.
The story snuck up on me even though I knew what it was about. Based on a collaboration, the words of WO and the art of Farlander compliment each other.
Pick of the Week.
Possibilities 2: Exile and the Disciple
TSL after Dantooine: A long ago relationship may blossom in the present. Artwork by Frandart
The story is not as good as the one above, primarily because the situation seems more contrived. I for one loathed the Disciple (Though I did give him space in my own Fan fic), but it is nice to see someone give him a better look than normal.
The Trouble With Never
The flight from Malachor after the climactic battle in TSL: Te Exile admits her love, and explains hos she survived.
It’s a bit generic, but the scenes were well done, and the flashbacks assured we knew what the character was thinking.