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Old 07-10-2008, 03:32 PM   #839
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Join Date: Jul 2005
Location: Las Vegas Nevada
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Current Game: Dungeonseige series
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Coruscant Entertainment Center

My chains are broken

10 years after TSL: A test of character may lead to danger.

Remember to have spaces between sentences and after punctuation. Some words used incorrectly (Attuned instead of intuned) punctuation and words left out (He could feel something in him anger and hate.’ then You must find resting place then come back to me).

I think that it is unfamiliarity with the English language. No biggie.

Welcome to the boards.


Non SW Fiction: An in depth look at reality.

The piece is well done, the subject interesting primarily because the author is trying to make you think and discern the puzzle. Like a jigsaw it falls into place. Well done.

Star Troopers: Episode I - A New Dope
Darth Bender

During first portion of ANH: Some people can’t win for losing

Some rough spots, but nothing that editing and polishing one’s cure.

The designation TK421 was a throw away line in the movie, but DB took it and ran with it. Inserting the character and his partner into every scene from Mos Eisley to the escape from the Death Star was seamless and logical. I almost expected them to be the ones knocking on the door where the droids had hidden. Very well done.

Pick of the Week.

Read my Signature
Darth Scorpius

Six years after ANH: A story of the Mandalorian wars being told to Luke Skywalker

Remember punctuation. Also, Mandalorians appear to be human, so why the distinction? Try to cut back on the author’s notes in the story, it distracts the reader from the flow.

Interesting so far.

Technical note: read the Expert’s Forum post 45 regarding melee combat. Even if you use a sword, the style is not called melee fighting unless you include everything from fists to spears. So being a ‘deadly melee’ fighter is a contradiction. The modern term ‘close combat’ is better because it includes by definition all of those mentioned.

Knights of the Old Republic - The Untold Tales
The Doctor

Shatter Love Shattered Faith and Misplaced Trust had already been reviewed (Sept 22 2006) Historical Revelation and Ease of Darkness on (29 Sept 2006) Rule number one on (Oct 20 2006) Mission across Space (10 Aug 2007) leaving only Ponderings for consideration.

KOTOR after Kashyyk: Will pushing an amorous man away cause more harm than good?

Doc, you put all of these out long before I started, and all had their own good points. So:

Pick of the week, with five Reprise picks.


Light side female Revan


Post KOTOR On Nar Shaddaa: The Mercenary baby-sitter?

There are times when I want cute-sey and fun.

Must be one of those times.

This was cute irreverent and irresistibly funny. I read it from end to end and wished I could laugh out loud. Worth every second!

Pick of the week.

Colors of a Knight
Shadow Rise

KOTOR enroute to the unknown world: Introspection

If you use either twin or two, using both is redundant.

That said, the story being short left me wanting more. The introspection was brief, but like an almond cookie, left me wanting more.

Pick of the week.

Light side Revan

A Gaze Into the Future (One Shot)

Six years since Malachor V: Revan gets a glimpse of the dark future.

Some word usage problems. Their instead of there, dual (two) instead of Duel (Fight).

The basics are good, the tie in to the history we know from the movies well

Sass Morgan

TSL no specific part given: The author said it all, sometimes, you don’t need a person to talk to.

The piece is interesting because it’s two different people confiding in the same ‘person’ about the same thing.

I liked it because both of them really need a safety valve in this situation. Very well done.

Pick of the week.

Its My War

TSL, Set ten years after Malachor: Memories.

One thing, remember the characters name when you’re writing. No biggie. I’ve changed a character’s name three times in the same page and didn’t notice it until I (As those who know me will repeat with me) edit, edit, edit! Second, attacks are not blueprinted, they are sequenced.

All in all, a good read. It needs more back story and depth, but it’s fun to read.

Unchained Melody

After TSL and return of Revan: Love across both games, bridging both life and death.

What was interesting here was how the author rationalized both of the main character’s love, and their actions toward their love. There is enough back story to explain what happened in KOTOR, and the ending is both sad and poignant.

Pick of the week.

Tragic Love

Ten Years after TSL: After Revan’s funeral, Bastila tries to move on.

There are comments from others concerning problems they perceived and they were well argued.

But it’s still good.

'To argue with those who have renounced the use and authority of reason is as futile as to administer medicine to the dead.' Now who said that?

From the one who brought you;
What we die for...
KOTOR excerpts
Star Wars: The Beginning
Star Wars: Republic Dawn
Return From Exile
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