Aboard the NORMANDY VI, Joker smoothly adjusted the autopilot controls to facilitate a safe arrival at the Eden Prime spaceport. He had no illusions about what this planet held--he'd seen and heard of dozens of marines dying here in the first Sarenite geth attack, and who knew what hazards were lurking in the industrial fog at present? For now, however, the pilot settled for telling the Admiral and her crew they had landed.
"Roger that. Thank you, Joker. We'll see you later, and please have Executive Officer Pressly stand guard and commandeer the ship while we're gone. Something's wrong around here on Eden Prime, as you've rightly guessed, and we're going to find out what it is." The pilot saluted, and Shepard and her squadmates exited the ship: the Admiral first, then Liara, then Kallic and Rogue, and the prisoners, Lux Ixlee and Bastion Kahne, bringing up the rear. WALL-E, the dutiful waste disposal droid, was taking care of the remnants of the crew's rations packaging after the light lunch they'd had onboard.
"Say, Admiral?" asked Lux. "My old gang, the Risa de Muerte, used to take luxurious tropical vacations here when the planet was still beautiful. If any of them are still hanging around, though for what reason I can't possibly guess, let me take care of them. I'm not on their side anymore. Not since I betrayed them and ratted out one of our ringleaders to the authorities."
Shepard halted, causing the rest of the squad to bump up abruptly behind her. "Really?" She turned and lowered her voice. "I appreciate that, Ixlee. Though I must wonder--why did you turn against them? I can't imagine any seasoned henchwoman such as yourself doing such a dastardly deed." Noticing that her crewmates were staring at her in surprise, Shepard mumbled, "Sorry. Didn't mean to give you a head-on collision with my rump."
Liara giggled, and Shepard turned fifteen shades of red. Holy geth! I'm always embarrassing myself at the most inopportune moments. She cleared her throat and straightened up, marching toward the VI receptionist kiosk (that hadn't been there before!) at the entrance to the Eden Prime port. She looked and sounded like Avina, though her expression this time was a bit disapproving. "My name is Ona," she said, "your VI liaison. Might I suggest a thorough decontamination for the front two of you, with plenty of hot water and potent cleansing lather?" Apparently, Liara and Shepard had been sweating over the course of their journey to Eden Prime...
"I'll handle that," Shepard snapped, and this time Liara "blushed" as much as an asari could. "I mean--we'll handle that. For now, though, I'm a Spectre. Could you tell me what's going on on this dump of a planet?"
"I'm sorry; I am not privy to such information. For now, could you please have someone less odiferous address me? My organic life-form sensors are overloading." Was that a touch of disdain in this synthetic 'Ona's' voice?
"I'll overload you," mumbled Shepard, who turned to Rogue. "Your honor."