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Old 08-08-2008, 12:39 AM   #857
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Join Date: Jul 2005
Location: Las Vegas Nevada
Posts: 2,874
Current Game: Dungeonseige series
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Coruscant Entertainment Center

Fall of Midnight
Rueben Shan

Non SW fiction: To hunt of become the hunted?

The basics are good, albeit short. The primary problem I had was why would the son of a family of vampire hunters ignore the fact that he is consorting with the enemy?

As mortal enemies, I could see either group eliminating the other, and using that knowledge to do so should be second nature. Of course human nature might win out.

Vynn Drax: Down Time
Astor Kaine

15 years after the battle of Yavin: Just a look at the life of an intelligence field agent.

The writing is excellent, needing polishing primarily. You did tend to forget conversation breaks but I do it too. That’s why I constantly rail at all you kids to edit.

Pick of the Week.

The Tales of Roma and Delphus


During Legacy Period: A split personality Jedi… An interesting concept.

The basics are good but you’re forcing the story, making things happen too rapidly. Some things, such as the ‘death’ holocron need a bit of explanation we didn’t get.

The idea of a ‘good’ and a ‘bad’ personality doing their own things was a very intriguing way to deal with the conundrum.

Welcome to the forum.

Soldat v Mire? (Soldier of Peace?)

After TSL: Part 13 of the Vremya series, an interesting turn for a warrior.

The piece is excellent as always, Tsy. I have to disagree with Rev though.

The thing is true warriors abhor useless battles. There is no more pacifistic group than the professional soldier. They want their deaths to matter, and dying in a useless battle is the worst possible death.

Pick of the week.

A Forsaken Path

After TSL: The Exile has to go, but not without telling someone why

The piece is good, the comments by others aimed at correcting what I had noticed was wrong with it. Just long enough to satisfy.

Pick of the week

Snapshots Of a Fall

During Tsl beginning on Citadel Station: What if the Council was right?

Having never played a dark side character (Except for one where I went through everything except the confrontation with Bastila on the temple by being the nice guy) I hadn’t written the fun stuff, for as Alan Rickman among others has pointed out, the bad guy gets the best lines.

While Atton isn’t sure why he helped, it fits with the explanation the Council gave later, and worked well with the situation.

Pick of the week.


Light Side Female Revan

The Second Best

KOTOR on Tatooine: Sometimes you have to accept second best.

The piece is good primarily because while anyone would admit that Canderous has to have feelings, most of us aren’t willing to address them. It is well written and give everything in a smooth flow.

Pick of the week.

Light Side Female Exile

Aftermath, Chapter 1
Even Gods Dream

TSL on Malachor V: What do you do when the adventure is over?

The piece is short and sweet. The last line was perfect.

Pick of the Week.

Confessions of a Dancing Twi'Lek on Atton "Jaq" Rand

During TSL: An old acquaintance of Atton remembers him with her dreams shattered.
The piece goes through the relationship in a manner that has you feeling sorry for the Dancer. The worst though is her desperate hope that there is meaning to it.

Pick of the week

Darkness of the Heart


TSL on Korriban: What lies in the Disciple’s heart?

For the first time I liked the Disciple. It isn’t that I like the dark side it’s the
Idea that somewhere inside that smarmy attitude there’s a human being.

The others have given you advice. Mine is to remember to edit.

Pick of the Week

Dxun fever

TSL aboard Ebon Hawk, no specific time given: Atton’s bed side manner…

The story is touching. The Exile and Atton come across too tentative to try, and having them in bits and pieces of dialogue make each other comfortable was a nice touch. Very well done.

Pick of the Week.

A tender moment of trust...

TSL After Nar Shaddaa: Atton’s confession.

The author calls it a bit of fluff, and I agree. The praise for the emotional content is excellent as is the content itself.

'To argue with those who have renounced the use and authority of reason is as futile as to administer medicine to the dead.' Now who said that?

From the one who brought you;
What we die for...
KOTOR excerpts
Star Wars: The Beginning
Star Wars: Republic Dawn
Return From Exile
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