Thread: [Fic] Survivour
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Old 09-30-2008, 07:17 PM   #3
It's Thornhill!
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It's interesting, but there's a few things -

It should be Coruscanti, not Corucanti.

And I wasn't aware there were hobbits in Star Wars?

Try to avoid using 'anyway' to start a sentence. It sounds less like a story and more like a conversation with it starting a sentence like that.

There's a few little grammatical and spelling mistakes that i'm sure you'll pick up if you read it through - there's a few full stops the wrong way round (a space and then the full stop, as opposed to the full stop and then a space).

Remember, proof-read thoroughly when you finish to pick up those little mistakes.

Also, I have an issue with the character mentioning Order 66 by name. I don't think that any Jedi survivors knew what the codenames were, as they were top secret.

Other than that, it looks interesting, and I look forward to seeing the next part.
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