Pretty much what the others have said regarding spelling and grammar. Employing the beta is good being that it gives a fresh perspective.
Also I mentioned in another fic of yours that you embellish a little more, especially since you are writing in the first person. First person narrative is a difficult tense and you have to make certain adjustments and allowances. I learned that the hard way with Heart of the Guardian.
In first person, it really gives you a chance to give description to things that will come from a personal view. You can describe mundane life of a Jedi or something like that. You are given a bit more freedom but I admit it is a difficult tense to write for. However practice makes perfect or rather practice makes better. Keep working on it and allow yourself to imagine. Describe how the character feels, etc. It will make for a great story.