Thread: [Fic] Prior to Exile
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Old 10-07-2008, 12:38 AM   #4
Bee Hoon
@Bee Hoon
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Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: Sydney
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Alek Squinquargesimus is just a terrible name. I've never read the comics, but why such a literally unspeakable name? ;p

Generally, I quite like the idea. The language is quite free of errors. I did find something strange though->

He frowned, but then showed a stoic face to the group at the comment I just made.
Then I put my head down as if to show hopelessness or despair, but only to show everyone how dire the situation was.
I found those two a little awkward, and I wonder why they seem to consciously adopt such body language. It detracts from how...sincere they are.

An interesting viewpoint on the war, and I hope to see why Alexandra and Malak/Alek disliked each other from the start;p

The sun goes down and the sky reddens, pain grows sharp.
light dwindles. Then is evening
when jasmine flowers open, the deluded say.
But evening is the great brightening dawn
when crested cocks crow all through the tall city
and evening is the whole day
for those without their lovers

-Kuruntokai 234, translated by A.K. Ramanujan

[Fic] Shreds of a Dying Belief
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