Thread: [Fic] Survivour
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Old 10-13-2008, 11:24 AM   #17
Sabretooth
鬼龍院皐月
 
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Join Date: Jan 2004
Location: Mumbai
Posts: 9,364
Although I did not comment on it, I read your earlier discontinued fic, and it impressed me thoroughly. I am a little disappointed at seeing it discontinued, but this new fic is thankfully very good as well. I'm having a hard time deciding which one is better!

The number one thing I must comment on is that the story is very engrossing and flows beautifully. I love the settings and descriptions you provide in the fic, and the how the story unfurls as a story told by a Jedi in hiding. The approach is very welcoming and of course, readable.

The action is heated and original at the same time. I like how there's always something intriguing to look forward to, and was often surprised by the different ideas you invented in this; such a lightsaber that fires an energy beam, or a Jedi not using his lightsaber against kath hounds, or a padawan coming close to making history. All of these instances are spectacular and make the fic studded with innovation.

I also like the realistic light in which you depict the story, often referencing other characters and media, or the protagonist facing moral dilemmas, as opposed to being the usual all-powerful, all-good Jedi.

There is also a great balance between all-out action and reminiscence, thought or other slow parts. They fit in well with the frenetic pace of writing.

All in all, I thoroughly enjoyed this fanfic like the earlier one, and would encourage you to write more, because I'm sure as hell going to follow this. (Although I'd say I liked your first two chapters more than the latest one, but only a little bit).

As far as grammar and such, I'll say that breaking up some walls of text into smaller paragraphs will be good. Reading on the computer screen is a bit different from reading from a book, you know. And then there's us Generation Y with our sucky attention span.

Anyways, thanks and it's awesome.


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