View Single Post
Old 11-07-2008, 03:24 AM   #914
Local curmudgeon
machievelli's Avatar
Join Date: Jul 2005
Location: Las Vegas Nevada
Posts: 2,874
Current Game: Dungeonseige series
10 year veteran!  Hot Topic Starter  Veteran Fan Fic Author  Helpful! 
Coruscant Entertainment Center

Starship of Fools

PreKOTOR: A bunch of teenagers and a hot ship…What do you expect to happen?

I don’t know what I expected when I read the title, which is good because I knew exactly what was going to happen, every silly step of the way. An outrageous story, and worth the votes it got because I would have voted for it.

Pick of the week

A Graceful Exit

PreKOTOR: A bounty hunt finds himself hunted.

Remember that a race is a proper noun, so it is supposed to be capitalized.
Just as a personal peeve, could you use word wrap? I had to cut and paste to put this in an easily readable format. A bounty is usually issued rather than instated, though I think the word you use is acceptable.

The basic idea is good, and the idea that someone like Nord didn’t give a damn about the rules refreshing.

A Trooper's Tale

After reformation of Jedi Order: The story of one of the Jedi during the war, and the aftermath of Order 66.

JA, what can I say? Repaying someone for their own actions is excellent.

Pick of the Week

No Rules For Gods

No specific time given: On Nar Shaddaa a Bounty Hunter learns the rules, and remembers how they applied in his life.

The story is interesting, and the vignettes attached to each rule fun. Keep it up.

In The Head
Bee Hoon

Aboard the Ebon Hawk during TSL: You broke my droid!

I read this and almost giggled. Atton breaking T3 for that? Outrageous!

Pick of the week.

The Black Visor

Some improper wording, has instead of had, there instead of their. The biggest problem is forgetting conversation breaks and proper paragraphs. Remember that a paragraph is supposed to convey one entire idea.

The basics when properly edited will be good.


Dark Side Male Revan

Bad Blood
Lord Zeuss

KOTOR at the swoop race on Taris: There are always two sides to every story…

The piece is well written, with an amusing flow and an even more fun twist at the end. Worth the read.

Pick of the Week.
Threads Of Darkness Part 1
Lord Zeuss

KOTOR aboard Ebon Hawk after Kashyyk: The capture of Ebon Hawk by the Leviathan.

The deterioration of the fellowship is clear here, and the canalization of ideals defined by both Bastila and Revan are very well done.


TSL on Nar Shaddaa: Atton’s Revelation

The writer is not a native English speaker, and I noticed some minor problems that are unimportant beyond remembering to edit.

The work is excellent because the automatically ‘good’ Jedi thing to do is to forgive him and her rejection of that is very well done.

Once She's Gone (Chapter One)
Revans Pet Duck

Post TSL: Word of the Exile reaches the new Jedi Council.

The story is intriguing primarily because it give us insights into Bao-Dur that are not usually displayed. The constant denial of any caring feeling for her highlights it.

Good Work

Jedi Ex Machina

Post TSL: When in doubt, fake it.

The piece was amusing with a scouting mission going wrong and that is just the start. Worth reading just for the last line.

The Final Battle
Griet Mutnojmet

TSL Fighting Sion on Malachor V: What must Sion do for love?

The piece is poignant. As much as other were appalled, I was reminded of the Hunchback of Notre Dame, I feel for the one considered repugnant who yearns for the beauty.

Pick of the Week.

'To argue with those who have renounced the use and authority of reason is as futile as to administer medicine to the dead.' Now who said that?

From the one who brought you;
What we die for...
KOTOR excerpts
Star Wars: The Beginning
Star Wars: Republic Dawn
Return From Exile
machievelli is offline   you may: quote & reply,