Thread: [Fic] Nighthunter
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Old 01-23-2009, 10:02 PM   #19
Rabish Bini
Sydney Roosters Genius
 
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Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: NSW, Aus
Posts: 2,128
Current Game: KotOR III
It was nice, but it had a few weird parts.

Try to refrain from using "anyway" when a character isn't talking, it's too casual, and sound smore like you're having a conversation with someone rather than writing a story.

The main problem was you leave out the second set of talking marks when someone finishes, and you do this often. Too often, don't forget.

I didn't find any spelling errors, despite what you said about bad grammar.

The beginning of the chapter seemed to serve no real purpose other than filling in space, try to work on that.

Other than that, good work


Yes
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