I just read all of this today. Very, very, VERY good!!!
I absolutely love your Exile, all the way down to his name. ("Jonas" = awesome) As for the story itself, my favorite part had to be the first. All that delicious darkness!
I loved Jonas' and Visas' interaction in the second part; very sweet. In the final part, however, Kreia's dialogue struck me as being too light-hearted for that scene. It hit a note of humor when I'm not sure it was intended.
A comment on grammar: in dialogue, when you have just a single line all by its onesies, with no tags or anything... i.e.:
"And you were unlike any student of mine,"
Always end the sentence with a period, not a comma. Commas should be used only when the sentence is followed by a tag, such as "Kreia said."
All in all, excellent work!