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Old 02-02-2009, 05:26 PM   #2
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Join Date: Oct 2007
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Hm, I thought it was good. A bit short, but an interesting story no doubt.

If I could give you an constructive criticism it'd be to "space thing out a bit". It was a little hard to read since it was all crammed into that tiny space. Oh well, you can work on it.

Good job, though!


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