Thread: [Fic] A Soul Adrift
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Old 02-21-2009, 09:20 AM   #111
Bee Hoon
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Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: Sydney
Posts: 1,268
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Nice update! I like how Sri was spitting mad enough to threaten Nya'van, yet had enough of Sri'lo in her to want to help her when Nya'van was being tortured. The descriptions are smooth and varied, while the plot is progressing nicely. I'd liek to see the other characters fleshed out more (as it is, they are all merely props to Sri'lo's story). Otherwise, keep it up!



The sun goes down and the sky reddens, pain grows sharp.
light dwindles. Then is evening
when jasmine flowers open, the deluded say.
But evening is the great brightening dawn
when crested cocks crow all through the tall city
and evening is the whole day
for those without their lovers

-Kuruntokai 234, translated by A.K. Ramanujan

[Fic] Shreds of a Dying Belief
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