Very nice! I'm glad you explained your inspiration for it. I especially like Nihilus' POV. It's scary! One thing though--shouldn't Visas have been quite a bit younger than she was in the game?
The sun goes down and the sky reddens, pain grows sharp.
light dwindles. Then is evening
when jasmine flowers open, the deluded say.
But evening is the great brightening dawn
when crested cocks crow all through the tall city
and evening is the whole day
for those without their lovers
-Kuruntokai 234, translated by A.K. Ramanujan
[Fic] Shreds of a Dying Belief