Thread: [Fic] A Lost Journal
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Old 03-06-2009, 08:59 AM   #3
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Join Date: Jan 2009
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Current Game: Dragon Age: Origins
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As I looked around I noticed three doors, each room I assumed containing a different trail. I looked at them, a grin formed on my face. My confidence was destroying my ability to think clearly, to know that wanting to take on all three would be too much. But there I stood thinking that this place was too weak to actually prove to be a challenge to me. I was or I still am a Sith. Although at this point I am not certain of what I am or even what I should become. At that moment I know I felt as if I held the power to make the entire galaxy kneel before me and beg for mercy, beg for its very existence.

Three choices laid before me, each one looked no different than its counterparts. I thought maybe it could have been a trick, some kind of mental game this place wanted to play upon me. Each door could have possibly led to the same room, but that I will never know now. I walked confidently through the door straight ahead of me. It opened on its own as I drew closer to it. The door slowly rose from the ground, dirt and dust falling slowly to the ground. The door sounded as if it was screaming in pain to open, almost as if it was telling me I had made the wrong choice. But that sound, the screaming only brought a smile to my face and laughter to my voice. My defiance was set, my will was unwavering, and my determination to come out unchanged was unbeatable.

The room was wider than the one before, but still a lonely gray color. Who ever had made this place, used the caverns own natural structure to create these rooms. My thoughts were about the next challenge I could easily dispatch with one quick swipe from my lightsaber. If only it could have been that easy, why couldn’t it have been another one of my former masters? Something from my life as a Jedi fool. Of course this was part of my Jedi life, this memory, this horrible thing that I had to endure once again. And in that moment when I saw what I had to face, my courage, my arrogance faltered, it wavered slightly. It was just enough that I think this place knew what it had to do to win this game of pride.

My eyes widened at the sight of who I was about to face. I watched as he walked across the bridge that connected the two platforms. He was always so full of life, always willing to help another in need. An old friend forgotten by many but not by me not even for a second, he was one of those people that left a mark that stayed even when the person was long gone. He was the definition of a true Jedi. He was everything I could have hoped to accomplish but failed to do so.

“My friend, finally you have arrived. You know it’s never good to be late” He said stretching out his arms to embrace me

I pushed his arms away “You know I don’t like to be touched Vren.”

Vren laughed a little and smiled happily. I never understood why he was so happy all the time, it wasn’t until later I found out that reason. As Jedi we were taught to control our feelings, and not express them so they wouldn’t become hazardous to ourselves or the ones around us. But there have been many occasions where ones feelings have actually proven more useful in a situation then keeping them away hidden from sight. We weren’t forbidden upon feeling such things like joy and love. Never could I have imagined back then that Vren had become a father. But I suppose that becoming responsible for a life you help create could change anyone.

I wonder if I had known that back then, would I have tried harder to save him, to be the one to take the killing blow instead of him. I wasn’t as wise back then as I am now however, his life still would have been lost, erased from the memories of the ones he called friends and family. The fact that they were able to move on so quickly after he left was aggravating to me, it felt disrespectful. I was once again losing myself to my anger, this rage that controlled me over his death for so long. There was a voice, it was his voice the phantom was speaking to me.

“Are we going to stand here all day, or are we actually going to move at some point.” He said jokingly, laughing slightly as he started to walk towards the bridge once again.

Could I just stand there and watch him die again? Be a coward like I was back then, was I going to allow myself to be taken back by shock as my friend would be murdered in front of my eyes once again? Before my thoughts were clear on what I wanted to do however I heard my voice yell out “Wait!”

Vren turned around looking at me with confusing “What is it?”

I started my march passed him, to take the lead to be the one that bounty hunter attacked and killed. I didn’t respond to his question, my determination to save my friend was over powering. At that moment I think I started to wonder why I was performing a Jedi act, why did I care if Vren lived or died after all it was a phantom of him. The real Vren died over two years ago, so why did I feel the need to save him now. Could it have been that I felt guilty for not being able to save him? I know that I have always regretted it, always wondered what if things were different. But I know living in the past only means you’re doomed to repeat it. Maybe that’s why I am here now I have been living in the past for too long.

I crossed that bridge first this time my hand ready to grab my lightsaber to kill that foolish bounty hunter. Even though I was prepared, ready to strike when that moment came I was but a statue. The only thing I could do was watch as the bounty hunter landed in front of me thrusting his vibro blade threw my torso. I could feel every inch of that blade as it cut threw my skin, flesh and organs. It felt so real, so life like, weren’t these only phantoms, Illusions? I’m starting to think that they might be something more, this place whatever it may be holds a higher purpose that no one may ever understand.

My strength left my body as the bounty hunter pulled the blade out of my torso. And just like back then he said “Now our game begins” the bounty hunter turned on his jet pack and disappeared, leaving me and Vren in the confusion that was left behind. As I knelt upon the ground, feeling my blood flow out of my body emerging in-between my fingers. The drops of blood fell to the ground, creating singular spectacular splashes. That feeling was something I hadn’t felt in a long time, it was joy, happiness. At that moment I wanted to be free of the life I was wasting, the life that I am now clinging to with desperation.

Last edited by Kyvios; 03-13-2009 at 10:21 AM.
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