(sorry it took so long. I'm sick, so things might be slowed down for a while. Sorry. And thank you for the comments they are very encouraging
I scanned my mind trying to remember if that was the moment when death took someone else. Her face was hindering the search of my mind, her beauty, her passion for life. If only I had been stronger or wiser then maybe…
Her deep hazel eyes that glistened with so much life, her dark brown hair that she always kept tied back revealing the perfection of every curve of her beautiful face. I had always wanted this day to be done over, to make up my mistake to her. Just to give her the chance to know, to realize how fast my heart raced with her presence, how distracted I’d become from my duties just by thinking of her. But she never knew, never found out how she moved my soul so much with just a tiny smile.
“What are you staring at?” she said to me, confused at why my gaze has not left her for a second. Maybe I was still in disbelief, or suffering of what I knew I was about to experience again. Could I control myself this time? Would the feeling of anger and rage spare me of their untold cruelty?
“It’s nothing” I told her turning my attention to the situation in front of us. The blaster fire had died down all that remained was a deafening silence that almost at that moment seemed unbearable, it didn’t bring any peace to my tortured soul. I jumped a little as something grazed against my hand, looking in panic I saw her hand near mine with her face turned away. At that very moment it felt like my heart had stopped beating in my chest. Every part of me, every inch of every nerve and cell knew what was going to happen, what event was about to take place.
As my mind replayed the events in my head of what occurred that day in my past, I heard a sound in the background. It was a blistering sound, but also soft and subtle. It was a lightsaber activating. A Dark Jedi stood behind us ready to strike us down where we stood. I could feel my rage and anger come storming to the surface once again. Once again I was unable to stop myself from attacking the Dark Jedi, feeling the disgust I had felt for them so long ago.
I screamed through my teeth, rage blurring all sense of reality. Ripping my lightsaber from my side I activated it, ready to fight my opponent, make him regret wanting to face me. I realize now that when that day happened for real was the day my arrogance and self righteousness truly shown. I believe that Dark Jedi saw that, but I am not certain. As my blade came crashing down to make contact with his, he swung one arm across the air sending me across the room crashing into a nearby wall.
As I flew, spinning threw the air. I watched in horror and anger as he lifted her up in the air by her throat with the force. I watched as he stared into her eyes that grew wide with fear, watched as she gasped to take breaths and struggle to get free. I could see him grin, as the one singular line on his face widened with delight and pleasure for this moment. As he raised his blade I hit the far wall, momentarily taking away my sight, but I could still sense everything. I could sense it as if every action he did to her I was doing myself.