Thread: [Fic] A Lost Journal
View Single Post
Old 03-10-2009, 07:35 PM   #8
HIGH ON PIE 14's Avatar
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Fighting for TSCC
Posts: 509
Trust me, you are not taking long at all... much quicker updates than most fics including my own.

Thw only mistake I saw was when you said "threw my teeth". It should be "through my teeth". Whatever, thats no biggie. No to the good stuff : This persona is getting more complex and interesting with each addition. Now it is revealed that his love died because of his self-righteousness...I think this showed a great change of character since the persona realizes his tragic flaw. It is awesomeness to see the past with new eyes and then relive it yet have things turn out the same way. You did a good job evoking emotion, I felt so bad for the persona.

Excellent work!


Viva La Resistance!
HIGH ON PIE 14 is offline   you may: quote & reply,