Thread: [Fic] A Lost Journal
View Single Post
Old 03-17-2009, 01:40 PM   #16
JediMaster12
Dum Spiramus Tuebimur
 
JediMaster12's Avatar
 
Status: Moderator
Join Date: Oct 2005
Location: Buried in books...literally
Posts: 5,910
Current Game: Assassin's Creed
LFN Staff Member Veteran Fan Fic Author Contest winner - Fan Fiction Forum Veteran 
I was kind of curious as to your decision in the breaks. I found it a little distracting that there was no title or anything to indicated what the segment was going to be about. You did say in your previous post that it was to be one chapter. Somehow I got the impression that it is a journal type entry. What might work is that you put in time segements when the writer picks up the journal and writes in it again. That way it gives an idea of timing. Dates help as well. Good job though. You are very descriptive in your sequence of events.

JediMaster12 is offline   you may: quote & reply,