She stood there smiling at me as a sense of clarity swept through my mind. It was a new feeling, it wasn’t absolute peace with myself but it was a start I knew that much. My eyes peered over her shoulder at the door. The door that use to mock me, taunt my failure now seemed to shrink at my determination, my desire to continue and better myself as an individual. My eyes drifted back over to meet hers and for a brief moment I think a smile was visible upon my face. How could she have known what I needed I wonder?
“It’s always been inside you Lyon. Waiting for the right moment to show itself, the part you wished to keep hidden. The true Jedi that lived inside your heart. You just needed to experience things differently than other students.” She said to me still smiling sending calmness that her presence always seemed to bring.
The true Jedi, what did she mean by that? I wonder if there was ever such a thing as a true Jedi. Jedi or Sith we all have our flaws our downsides, I see that now. Acting as if one side is honestly more perfect then the other is a foolish thought. True perfection may never be achievable but if you take steps towards being true to yourself then it’s a start on the right path. I am something else I see that now, I’m neither a Sith nor a Jedi. The only way I would know what I truly was is if I continued on to face whatever was waiting for me.
As a child she was always the one to help me, to comfort me in my time of need. I probably would have fallen to the dark side long before I did if it weren’t for her. In the sense of things she wasn’t truly my master, she had her own padawan but she spent more time with me then her own student. She saw something in me I believe. What she saw exactly I’m not positive.
I felt a hand be placed up my shoulder “Don’t be afraid of the unknown Lyon. It’s the excitement of the unknown that should fuel our desire to face the new day ahead.”
Her words always seemed to hold some kind of logic, even if it was her own beliefs. Her words or just the sound of her voice seemed to fuel me with a hidden courage that seemed to be locked away in some deep corner of my heart. I have always been grateful to her even to this day. She was the one who was slowly showing me I didn’t have to follow a path built for me by others, but to follow a path that was always there for me to walk.
“Thank-you Master Sarli” I said turning my head towards her.
She stood there smiling and waving to me as she slowly faded away from my sight. I turned my head back towards the door. It no longer seemed threatening or demining to me. I stood there ready to face whatever the force had planned. And I would accept any outcome it brought forth.
Telona 3,957 BBY:
The date I am no longer sure about. I don’t know how long I have been sitting here clinging to the fragile existence that is my life. Slowly I feel it slipping away from my grasp, slowly escaping from my fingers into a nonexistent void. Maybe the life after this will take some sort of pity upon me, have mercy for all the wrongs I have committed, all the crimes against life itself. I accept this fate however because now I know what it means to be truly at peace with myself. This moment I enjoy completely for this moment has brought me more warmth then I have felt in my whole life.
This wound, this endless bleeding that seems to run through my fingers and down my side soaking into the stone floor I now sit upon. It is funny in a way that I always seem to be sitting, waiting, hoping for something. I know now that the darkness that had tainted my soul was not stronger then the light that coursed through my existence.
When I entered this room there was a person already waiting for me. His back turned to me, a hood pulled over his head. Dressed in black robes he stood there like a statue unmoving, uncaring of my presence or at least that is what I had thought.
“Finally you have come. I have been waiting for you for a long time.” This man said to me as he slowly turned around. His robe moved with his brisk movement almost wrapping around one leg, but it was to lose it fell back down draping itself behind his legs. He wore tight gloves upon his hand that made a noise as he flexed his hands into a tight fist and released them. My eyes worked their way up his body taking note of his lightsaber attached to his side. My eyes looked upon his face in shock. The person standing before me was no one other then myself, but in a way different from who I am.
“Nothing to say” He said with a half grin upon his face taking steps towards me. He brought his feet down upon the stone floor hard allowing the sound to echo throughout the room trying to intimidate me. I just stood there watching him as he walked closer to me, smiling his eyes a yellowish red color. This side of me or whatever it was had been completely consumed by the Dark Side I could feel it pour off of him like a waterfall into a running river.
“What do you want from me?” I finally asked.
He stopped and looked at me his smile growing bigger “For you to join me. Accept me. Together you and I working as one can be the strongest Sith Lord the galaxy has ever seen.” He raised his hand and clenched his fingers tight into his palm as if he was crushing something.
“I don’t want to be a strong Sith Lord. I just want to be done with this and continue on.” I said back to him.
“Don’t give into weak Jedi passive thoughts. I am a part of you, you cannot deny me. As long as you live then shall I.” He said clearly angered by my response.
“I have no desire to deny you. You the darkness are as much a part of me as the light is. But it will be my choice what action I want to take. Not some phantom of my darker side.” I said in response my tone cold and unmoved by his anger. He raised his hand and placed it upon his hooded head and pulled back his hood. Shaking his head he grabbed his lightsaber and activated it.
“Then you die…Jedi” he said to me as he charged toward me his crimson blade illuminating the side of his face. He almost looked distorted, like some disease had taken over and was eating away at his skin, destroying his flesh.
I activated my lightsaber and blocked his attack. Knowing each other’s movements made it hard to land a good blow upon each other. Which each attack brought by one made the other perform a successful attack. Then I saw an opening in one of his attacks, a fatal flaw on his part. As he lowered himself spinning to thrust his blade into me side he swung his arm out wide leaving his body open for an attack. I seized the opportunity to sink my blade into his chest through his heart. In that moment, that brief life changing moment we both made contact with each other, my blade piercing his heart ending his life there. His blade digging into my side allowing me to linger for several moments.
But now…now I am tired. And the door to my side is slowly opening…a bright light…I see it… it is so…