Join Date: Jun 2009
Location: Nun ya! (jk)
Current Game: SWBF: RS
Buckle up, for tomato devil and his mini-me promise to conquer the entire eastern African nation with giant spandex wearing barest giraffes. That's what happened when Hitler's ghost arose from his deep grave and screamed, "Salt Jedi shall not be served with cooked mustard." So Tomato Devil decided not to serve Jedi his favorite food condiment, mustard, and instead gave them his new creation a new time. The Rach condiment was everyone's favorite style of salad bar dressing. It tasted rather nasty to the Tomato Devil who then decided it to feed noobs who exploded into a raging laughter after having hot, wild barbecue sauce that burned on their hair on their itsy bitsy fingers. The tomato jumped and said that he is stupid like your momma in a psychotic episode that lasted ten days. Tomato was owned by and his pet the apricot, so he whined like a little kid. Suddenly, Judge Judy noticed noticed that carving knives look like drunken bears with inferiority complexes involving rubber ducks. As they looked for fried doorknobs and more gumdrops covered in glowing pools of hypertonic solution for the spoon of water that smells really bad and murders smurfs. But now now did they not drink paint and ducks throwing knives with poisoned handles because a sneaky bear wearing green galoshes filled with cranberry juice shot a Parmesan cheese grenade at the jedi. Tomato Devil ate the sneaky bear and burped a lion with multiple heads and a snake bit the jedi in the toe. This caused an explosion of bunnies by holy atheists flinging grenades as well as chihuahuas singing sting because they licked walls and paint balls itching like a Eskimo laser. Then Doctor O'Reilly drank some Irsih Beer poisoned by Giant Monkeys, but he picked up a lasergun and shoved off of the car tat Rickrolled Tomato Devil into the distant future where Star Destroyers ate smashed peanuts invented by Doctor Doolittle in order to kill Bill Billingsly. Ventriloquating Dwarves who sing dark ditties like the Dingle Dangle Pot Roast Baker's Man Pie Song. The giant scorpion eater Pillsbury Doughboy pancake bomb flew through the vacuum eating scorpions and spanking Happy Giraffe's large nose filled with Aunt Jemima's custard hose. Even electronic flying ducks cannot type a thing to save brain pancake the money crystal elderly hand grenades exploded in Southern Antarctica. Canada's currency likes to freak out like a dog with Dwarf Disorders who can't sing happy noodle gas deleting day songs about Michael Jackson's frying pan with kids who belong on newspaper. The Scarlet Ibis that burned in hell then invented fighting ligers colored him purple like grapes. Devil Driver drove devils to the dust devil bar and bought them devil beer for devilish little gnomes who sold hallucinogenic iPods made from stethoscope mannequins. Mario and Luigi ate trippy mushrooms which made Daleks from preserved fruit from Siberia. If fighting Giant Monkeys results in chewed apples then the Tomato Devil will inevitably die with smashed peanuts. "Burn with Happy Vikings" said the Chief Monkey Spoon Pillow as he burned Happy Jack's Pancakes which made him climax very quickly while singing Brandenburg Concerto in Lebanese whilst sucking a quarter. R2, do Boogiee Woogiee with the serial killer or I'll pass wind in your nether regions while doing a dance called the Dinosaur Defecation. I eat Chuck Norris shaped biscuits while sipping Chuck Norris Honey Syrup whilst fondling bears wearing silk stockings. Astonishingly, beaver exploded in a fit of diarrhea containing peas and applejacks with eczema invented by lonely horses with pineapple balloon jackets. Still, Megatron let loose a horde of Lesbians with Chimpanzees eating bags of "Jellybeans." said I. Copper spaceships representing fairies flew through Obamaville, Georgia While Dancing in the Prozac Dust while inhaling gaseous pizza fragments during metal storms driving magnets powered by killer rabbits gifted with long teeth. Malevolently, Miffy ate bears of doom, fat Dwarves made mistakes while driving, and squirrels discovered fire by rubbing their faces together while spitting bullets from their rear ends. Farting thus, after intercourse is unwise unless Herpes is present for he had some tequila sauce up his large nose. He then inserted monkeys into the thrustmaster's mailbox where they least expected more monkeys with spears and guns and roses loaded with Chocolate bullets and spermatozoa with boxygen. So after silken bunnies summoned Zeus with pungee and bungee, the malicious mythril monkeys ate Zeus the gassy with Ranch the Monkeyherder. But since the flying-gecos ate Zeus, they couldn't summon Hitler's demonic baby chainsaw gun armed with more guns and mayonnaise-filled grenades. "By the power of the Daleks invested in me by Wells Fargo, I hereby decree that all meatbags will dance under the fat palace with many large monkeys." said I, King of Pain. Sting the Magic Dragon lived in Vulgaria. His mother came from the Temple of Psychotic Broken Clocks. His Father was a box of fat canary wedges building monkey genitalia armed with chop suey throwing Chinese paninis into the Great Beyond. However, Kung Fu Master Gigglecream swallowed his bag of tomatoes and silvery onions while diving into a DUNG PILE! However, since big jugs are not that edible, wookies fart green gases which explode. Butt only says the queef bubblez fry boxygen, but what happened when Black Mesa East blew into tiny shards of bubble wrap which shrink was catastrophic, it scared the *** out of JOE MAMMA! "ROCK ON" said Manson the Cake Throwing Jerk. "Um, this might not taste right, but it sure does taste like fried chicken." And then, MOTER ****ER, you'll wish that staple was only the beginning of your genital mutilation. And then the monkey flinged doodey at everything in sight for miles and someone is bound to notice the sight, that is for certain. What bothers the Brotherhood of Bob Haters Local#345 is bloody, filled with viscous pustules, dweedling animals such as the flaming lard of humongous proportions. Rickrolling is the lamest, until it...scratch that... Masticating zebras only puke blue inbreds and red woozey floozey rubber duckies that make twisty mcjigglywiggly-swirleyworley in their own minds filled with n00by teabagging no goodniks. Whose bright idea was it to call the wieener police without telling Tom Anderson that his tool shed was crammed full with liquidious fleshbags doing something we call extremely revolting. Meanwhile, in Southern Chinatwon, someone stole Tomato's mojo, stuffing it up his large potato shaped bong, with impunity, and scared some dingus that was pissing down heater vents. This meant BUTT PROBLEMS for Butthead, but he'd down laxatives while Beavis lit a bong full OF BARF.
"They'll hunt me; They'll condemn me; Set the dogs on me; Because that's what needs to happen. Because sometimes, the truth isn't good enough. Sometimes, people deserve more. Sometimes, people deserve to have their faith rewarded. Not because they want to, not because of chance, but because they deserve to."
-Batman (From TDK)