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Old 09-04-2009, 10:49 AM   #1051
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Coruscant Entertainment Center

Whole lotta loss

No specific era given: A rescue mission encounters horror

It’s console (Panel) not consol (Give comfort).

The basics were good, the action well done. Having the creature be a vampire (As in blood sucking type) stretched it a bit. Also as something that sucked life, the bio systems (Lighting on the derelict ship and the biometric capacitors on his own ship) would have been drained as well. There is no explanation as to why mechanical devices should be affected by drainage and these systems would not. Nor how he could set up a self destruct without thinking of it.

Technical note: You keep thinking of a ship as a building. You gave dimensions in both stories and the proper keel and beam lengths, the correct term is draught. It would be a deck plan, not a floor plan. I see there is yet another article for the resource center here.


Set in Alkonium’s AU: The main character remembers the events that led up to the present.

The piece is well done, albeit short. It is more a prologue than a story Al.

exodus is created

Many years before KOTOR: A Jedi kills what he loves.

The piece is too short and abrupt to judge. You went from one fight scene to another with little between, leaving me unsatisfied as to why anything was happening. You also killed one character long before his time.

The New Sith Empire
Ashnan Corri

The Battle of Endor: What if Luke had fallen to the Dark Side here?

The writing is pretty good AC, but the sheer logistics of what you portray don’t measure up. First, the only Republic troops on Endor were the team Han and Leia brought, so there were no ‘countless waves’ to confront. As for the space battle the fleet they faced was large enough to smash the Rebel alliance fleet if as Shakespeare had commented ‘any order may be found’.

As was shown on Jabba’s Sail barge, Luke was good, but not so good he could protect himself against a number of people at the same time. If the Rebels had concentrated their fire on him the battle would have ended there.

I can’t see Leia and the others merely knuckling under either. Han had too much experience fighting against the Empire to merely cave in so readily, and Leia would have hated her brother for doing what he had done to betray their cause. Like a lot of ‘the good guy goes bad’ stories, everything went too well for the bad guys.

Over at kotorfanmedia I have just finished off the Light Side Male Revan category, and will start on the Light Side Male Exile next.

Light Side Male Revan

The Sub Nazi
Elwin Ransom

KOTOR On Manaan: The greatest warriors in the galaxy lost to them?

I brought this up and began reading. The reason I used Canderous’ line above is simply because I didn’t believe they had lost to them either. Having Canderous admit to being a romance writer was a riot, and the entire ‘Sub-Nazi’ sub plot was outrageous. Too ridiculous for words, but a lot of fun.

Pick of the Week

Psychotic Man Slayers
Triple E

KOTOR Aboard Ebon Hawk: Trapped in hyperspace with three women at that time of the month…

Being in my fifties, I have seen every stage of PMS they portrayed here, and I wanted to roll on the floor and laugh. Jolee’s reaction was perfect, Canderous dives for cover, Dryan (Revan) gets drenched and Carth was the unwitting target. Just delightful.

Pick of the Week

Knight of the Old Republic, Chapter 1 : The Endar Spire

KOTOR aboard the Endar Spire: The frantic rush to escape.

The piece was good if a bit generic. Having the main character be rattled by the idea of combat and surviving more by luck than anything else was a good bit.

My view when I did the same scene with my own LSF Revan was that there were too many muscle memories to avoid, so mine was a soldier believing herself a sergeant, so efficiency would be the norm.

There were no major problems with it, just polishing, which is good. One of the better retellings of this scene.

Lord Zeuss

KOTOR on Dantooine: Starting your training with a headache and needing to make an apology is not a good thing

From the title I fully expected the headache to be a hangover, but was pleasantly surprised. The interplay from Belaya walking by to see him in the nude to Bastila being upset that he had apologized first was very well done. If the game had shown such a lackluster beginning, we would have despaired of him ever learning the force.

Evanescent Part 1
Lord Zeuss

Six months PostKOTOR: Torn by visions, Revan must journey into Unknown space. Bue he will not be going alone.

This sentence; ‘comprehension without understanding’ confused me, because the definition of comprehension is perception or understanding. I understand what you mean, knowing what and how to fit in without understanding the method of it, but some might stumble over the phrase before they get it.

The piece is well wrought, the fact that both suffer from regrets for what they had done well established. The vision, as visions do, tell little, but give us a sense of foreboding. This looks like one of those I am going to wish I could read all the way through.

Pick of the Week

Of Love

KOTOR After Leviathan: Carth can have his revenge… If he denies his heart.

Except for the last few paragraphs, you would not even know this is a slash story. The hatred Carth must feel for the one he believes is the author of his pain is perfectly portrayed. Revan’s reply when asked, that he can’t think of a reason why Carth should not kill him perfect in the weariness of someone who has just been told he is the most hated man in the universe. Even without the ending, it would have worked, as none of us could see Carth as a cold blooded killer.

Pick of the week

The Collectors, Part 1

KOTOR enroute to Tatooine: An unexpected delay has the crew deciding to do some exploring.

The interplay between the characters at the Pazaak table is humorous, Jolee coming across as not too bright, but as one who has dealt with card sharps before, I found it amusing. Too short to get an accurate feel for it.

Missing Pieces: Chapter 1
Back In Blaque

PostKOTOR: Sequel to Too Many Justins, a failed spy finds only one way out.

Without reading the entire story (Which I have not done; I have too much going on in my life to read everything that appeals to me) I was a bit lost. I did work out what was happening, but as another reviewer said, not knowing who most of the characters were slowed me down. The angst and decision were well done.

'To argue with those who have renounced the use and authority of reason is as futile as to administer medicine to the dead.' Now who said that?

From the one who brought you;
What we die for...
KOTOR excerpts
Star Wars: The Beginning
Star Wars: Republic Dawn
Return From Exile
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