Yeah, since the game itself doesn't always follow cannon, I like to think that Revan's gender and outcome as 'subcannon.' You are already playing noncannon if you pick a female in Kotor1, much less if you take the dark path.
Saying that Malak never betrayed Revan is a mockery of the story. But saying that Revan was a female is perfectly fine ingame. The game was made for that. I also would propose that saying Revan was Dark side and Bastila was exile is acceptable too, though admittedly a stretch of the imagination. Of course if you hated Bastila from the beginning, I suppose it would seem like a mockery still yet.