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Old 10-16-2009, 11:16 AM   #1073
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Join Date: Jul 2005
Location: Las Vegas Nevada
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Current Game: Dungeonseige series
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Light Side Female Exile

For What It Was Worth

TSL after Malachor V: The Exile looks back on her recent life

The piece is nice and introspective. As she meditates, she sees her opponents, and considers their ends. Oddly enough the only one she shows feeling for, Sion, is primarily because he had lived too long, and pities him.

Dark Side Male Revan

Hope and Regret

PreKOTOR: Revan is warned by a vision, and makes plans to stop himself from being captured.

Remember to fill in sentences. You forgot The in ‘possibility that Revan knew of their planned trap unnerved her greatly, but Master Vandar had convinced her that they had to go ahead with the plan and hope (it) worked‘. An editing problem easily corrected next time.

Technical note: While someone might have a bridge station, it is rare to refer to them just as that station. If you did, you would still use the, of it would be the Navigation officer for example.

The piece flows well, and Revan struts his stuff as a tactician. Having the self destruct go off is a bit of an overkill, but it ends the threat nicely. One of those I wish I could read all the way through.

Pick of the Week

Light Side Male Revan

The Truth

KOTOR after Leviathan: Is it the truth or what you believe that is more important?

The piece drags you down into Revan’s darkness as he finds out who he really is and shatters everything else. Terri Pratchett in a satirical aside at the ‘freedom’ of the press commented that it is the freedom to dump gasoline on a fire. Here we have the two most important things our hero must consider; as horrible as he might have been, can he really be the hero? Or is it the care and support of his friends that will help him achieve this goal?

Thought provoking.

Pick of the Week

Knights of the Old Republic: Dark Forces, Chapter One
Malpense The Dark

TSL just after Malachor V: The crew deals with the pain of victory

The piece is soft and smooth as you read it. Another reviewer waxed poetic. You get to see the carnage that makes me remember Wellington’s quote; the only thing worse than a battlefield lost, is a battlefield won.

Pick of the Week

Light Side Male Exile

From the ashes, Chapter 1

Alternate Universe: The Exile awakens on Peragus

The piece is interesting in that Kreia is replaced by Nomi Sunrider. The premise as explained in the after word does make sense, and should make interesting reading from here on.

Confiding in a Creature Not So Often Loved...

PostTSL: Revan returns from the Unknown Region, and needs someone to talk to

The story is sweet primarily because the main character is still pensive about what has happened i the recent past. The ending is good if a bit generic.

The Exiles (one-shot)

PostTSL: When the Exile vanishes again after Malachor V, Atton finds him

The piece is interesting in that it shows what sometimes happens after the adventure. The hero instead of riding off into the sunset sometimes is unwilling to accept the accolades he doesn’t feel he deserves. Atton is a perfect foil, because he let go, but wasn’t willing to let go of everything.

All Left Unsaid

TSL aboard Ravager: The battle with Nihilus costs too much

The piece is stark in it’s chiaroscuro way, and having Visas die by her own hand to kill the Dark Lord is a shock.

How Long Will You Wait?

PostTSL: As the years pass, Carth Onasi and Brianna hold to their loves, but it is hard work

The piece is excellent in it’s detail of the emotions being felt by the two lovers who wait. The attraction each feels for the other starts as this shared burden, but could have blossomed into more as each pulls against that restraint. It ended at just the right time; too soon for them to have fallen completely, but so close that it was a Wellington commented on Waterloo, a near run thing.

Pick of the Week

Katara Ironarm

TSL on Telos: The Handmaiden meets the Exile, then joins the crew

It is a bit hurried to me, though what it does in great detail is sketch in her sisters and their reactions. Brianna’s reaction to the Exile is good be cause he goes from some twit to something else smoothly.

Knights of the Old Republic III: The True Sith, Chapter 1
Master Chef 505

PostTSL: The partings of both the Revan and the Exile and the aftermath

I was torn as were a number of the previous reviewers. For the length, little of substance was given to the reader, yet there was detail. Seeing Mission get drunk was cute, considering what she’s like in the story I can see her as a nasty drunk. The pain felt by Visas was little explored, but the pain in both Bastila and Brianna in their loss was an excellent counterpoint.

KOTOR III: The Hidden Threat, Chap. 1 The Beginning
Darth Nicho

From the Mandalorian wars to post TSL: Another characters is called to service

The comment regarding battle scenes was well done; Another possible option for understanding it would be the movies of Akira Kurosawa, where the Samurai are the main warriors. A battle scene in real life is like snapshots from hell, and as I commented in one of my own works, all a soldier in this situation sees is what is directly in front of him.

Using game terms detracts because the reader immediately knows what you have done and feels a bit cheated. Even mentioning styles (You didn’t) do the same because all the styles mentioned are is a way to describe different strikes and blocks and giving the character additional pluses for specific actions. As an example, watch the sword fighting scene in the Princess Bride between the masked man and Inigo where both are commenting on the different styles they are using as they fight.

'To argue with those who have renounced the use and authority of reason is as futile as to administer medicine to the dead.' Now who said that?

From the one who brought you;
What we die for...
KOTOR excerpts
Star Wars: The Beginning
Star Wars: Republic Dawn
Return From Exile
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