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Old 12-19-2009, 03:34 PM   #82
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To Mission Command, Imperial-class Star Destroyer Devastator,

Command, this is Sergeant Mod Terrik of 501st Legion Zeta Squadron, Desert Sands unit. We are still on the trail of the two droids which escaped from the Tantive IV. After following the tracks, we eventually discovered that the two droids we are after were found by a band of indigenous Jawas. We followed their sandcrawler and, in compliance with standard procedure for military data recovery, destroyed the vehicle and killed all of its occupants (my men assured me that they would make it looks like the indigenous Sand People were responsible for the massacre). As it turned out, however, the rebel droids had already been sold to the residents of a moisture farm in the Great Chott Salt Flats, near the Jundland Wastes.

We've staked the place out, and my men have informed me that, after conducting extensive scans, they have concluded that the two droids are not on the premises. The farmers haven't spotted us, and we are prepared to move in after we are given clearance.

Before we do so, however, I hereby request a supply drop from the Devastator. In order to complete this mission in accordance with relevant Imperial regulations, our squad is going to need some heavier ordinance.

The Imperial Military Code for handling such delicate operations as this directly states that in such a situation that we find ourselves in, "local civilians should are to be dispatched with the most brutal means available" (Chapter 9Aii, Paragraph B2741-J). As such, we are in need of a supply drop of at least three Merr-Son FX/27a flamethrowers (or "plasma rifles", as they are sometimes called), plus a crate of high-grade thermal explosives. While I am aware that my squad members do carry one thermal detonator each, they are not sufficient to complete the designated operation, which requires that "any structures within sight of the central target are to be razed to the ground, if possible" (Paragraph B2741-K). Our relatively weaker thermal grenades will not be able to accomplish this task, even at their highest-yield settings.

While I suppose we can get by on the razing requirement with improvised explosive devices (IEDs), I must stress here that the flamethrowers are mandatory. It is "absolutely necessary" that all civilian targets are to be dispatched "with enough force to remove or vaporize most or all of the skin and muscles on their bodies", or to "reduce them to an entirely unrecognizable state," on the grounds that such measures are "totally ****ing badass" (Paragraph B2741-Lvii). The flamethrowers are the most efficient means by which this can be effected (I understand the new Incinerator trooper corps. was formed for this exact purpose). While we can produce similar results with our standard infantry weapons, I believe that it would be an unsightly waste of ammunition. Although some soldiers would think that simply shooting the targets would be enough, Imperial Protocol (Paragraph B2740-A) specifically determines such methods to be "for pussies." We therefore cannot shirk on this regulation in the name of expediency, sir.

Again, the explosives are not entirely necessary, but the flamethrowers are mandatory. I do not know why we were not issued this equipment when we landed, but I suppose it is of no matter. Whatever the reason, it is imperative that the supply drop is made ASAP so we can continue with our mission.

Sergeant Mod Terrik, Zeta Squadron Commanding Officer
Desert Sands Environmental Unit, 501st Stormtrooper Legion

"Grant Allen [...] had written a book about the Evolution of the Idea of God. [...] it would be much more interesting if God wrote a book about the evolution of the idea of Grant Allen." ~ G. K. Chesterton, The Everlasting Man

Last edited by TKA-001; 12-19-2009 at 07:49 PM.
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