Wow, that's quiet a story you worked out there. Indeed I was working on a planet Aqualaris, though I haven't done much with it these last few months.
It's a neat idea about that message, but like I said, this story would stand on its own. No Exile whatsoever, no Jedi. Pure scoundrels; like Han Solo dog fighting it out amongst each other about missing goods, backstabbing deals... settling grudges etc.