View Single Post
Old 05-21-2010, 10:27 AM   #1127
machievelli
Local curmudgeon
 
machievelli's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2005
Location: Las Vegas Nevada
Posts: 2,819
Current Game: Dungeonseige series
Hot Topic Starter Veteran Fan Fic Author Helpful! Forum Veteran 
kotorfanmedia

Other KOTOR characters

Thinking 'Bout It : Not Your Average Wake-up Call ( Part 0I )
Fnord

KOTOR aboard Endar Spire: She’s had a bad day without coffee already…

The piece is amusing, the heroine too busy whining about her day so far to worry about minor things like Sith trying to kill her.

Family Ties
Prisoner 24601

Pre KOTOR aboard Leviathan: A family reunion with an odd pair as family

The piece takes two disparate characters and joins them as family in a way that is unique and thought provoking. Laying the entire blame for Telos on Malak, and making Mira’s mother the ‘bad guy’ is the opposite side of the coin. It is an interesting tableau worth reading

Demure
Arrow

2 years Post KOTOR on Citadel Station: Two teenagers deal with the situation in time honored fashion

The only problem I had was picturing Mission in a pink dress. From there it was easy and fun. Two ancillary characters getting along as you might expect of a pair of awkward teens. Their subtle and not so subtle putdowns are the perfect foil to what is really happening.

Pick of the week

Inevitabilities
Athenaprime

Post KOTOR: A revelation from Bastila; and what do you mean there’s a list…and a bet?

The scene is well set. The revelation as it always does, surprises the male part of the equation, and makes the scene amusing when he tries to recover. His immediate comment that he was ‘faster on the draw’ brought to mind some things that made me want to laugh in delight.

Pick of the Week

Differences
Envoy Coolis

KOTOR aboard Ebon Hawk after Leviathan: How can you deal with it?

The piece is excellent, the angst of what he might do wearing on Onasi as he considers. The end a bit abrupt, but thought provoking. As another reviewer mentioned, the fact that Carth does not speak Shriiwook is a problem.

Pick of the Week

Debt, Chapter 1 - Innocent Captive
Lastofthelineage

Originally reviewed 15 December, 2005; review below

Set after KOTOR I
A redeemed Malak must prove Revan is innocent of a heinous crime.

There aren’t many stories out there where Malak was redeemed, and this was the first I have read. The style is excellent, and only needs editing to make it first class.

Reprise Pick of the Week

Fanfiction.net

Star Wars Republic Commando: Delta Force
Pulse5

Set in Republic Commando: A team goes to rescue some hostages
Cumbersome sentences. As an example "That's them taken care of."

The primary problems I have with the piece are technical.

Technical, Priorities: Tatooine is a Hutt owned world, and as such is neutral. What you have done is drop an assault team into say Mexico around Quintana Roo to capture a drug lord. A police operation, not a military one. A major heavy-weight terrorist would be worth that effort, but not some Hutt doing what Hutts seem to do naturally. A failure of this mission could bring the Hutt in on the Separatist side.

Military procedure: You sent a pretty small team. Could they pull off the mission, sure. But they’re going about it wrong. The first rule of special ops like these is intelligence. You don’t even pick the team until you have the target clearly defined and located. Think of Osama Bin Ladon right now,; do we have teams ready to take him? Yes. Do we deploy them? No! Having your team wander around a town means every one who sees them is a possible conduit to the enemy. Having them tell everyone they talk to what their mission is a recipe for failure. The Republic should have had a specific location, numbers of enemy troops, and if possible a layout of the location for them to pore over and work out operational plans before the first boot hit dirt.

Remember, the first stage of the newest Gulf war was nicknamed shock and awe because we told them ‘we’re going to take you down piece by piece and there’s nothing you can do to stop us’, then did exactly that. But they did that by clear intelligence of targets and those target’s capabilities.

Operations; For this you need to be sneaky, not lethal. If I were one of the interior gate guards, I would have immediately set off the alarms because the external security force reported nothing at all even though that is their job. Someone knocks, I wouldn’t open the door, I’d alert the others, and set up an ambush, only then opening the door. If there is only one way in the Commandos should have pulled back and considered alternatives.

Republic Commando: Tip of the Spear
Metalguru

Set in the Clone wars: An operation to take down the power supply to an enemy force.

I hate to do it, but the term is whittled (cut away) not whiddled (urinated) away.

The piece is interesting in that the operations are smooth, and the by-play between the two teams clear. The ‘new’ team made up- as Omega had been- of survivors from destroyed teams, is just shaking down again, and are a bit rough because of it.

Technical note: The Jedi who supposedly ordered the clone army was Sifo-Dyas.

Jedi Bathrobe
OldSmoke

Post KOTOR: Revan has two things he must deal with; Carth borrowed his expensive armor, and Darth Bobo?

In spite of a rendered twisted and repulsive would read better as; ‘In spite of being rendered twisted and repulsive‘ recalled ‘itwheneverhe neededto lift his spirits‘. Shouldn’t this be separate words? It isn’t the first or last time this happened.

The piece was cute in that there is a lot of subtle humor. Carth talking to himself about his choice. Revan wearing of all thing a Jedi bathrobe then later what sounds like a zoot suit.

Journal of a Soldier
Ragnarok2

Pre KOTOR: Carth Onasi’s diary

The piece is rambling and a bit incoherent. Carth and the Republic seem to drift along doing nothing of use until Revan arrives, then goes back to drifting when Revan died. A journal would be deeper in covering more of the back stage rather than just the headlines three years apart.

Drenched
Shike77

TSL Aboard Ebon Hawk: A game of pazaak and therapy

The piece was good but not good enough for me to go on to the other chapters. The one thing in the game I loathe (Beyond the Disciple) is Pazaak, and having them play a game as this goes on did not endear it to me. The part at the end, where she suggests that others had wanted to be her lover and died for it was intriguing.

Layers of Deception
Sera Terranova

KOTOR On Taris: The memory is like an onion

The piece is interesting in the layers and layers of memory created for our heroine. Her present, romances in the past, her childhood, all lovingly layered like pain on a ship’s hull. But there are cracks in it, things noticed by her companion.

Pick of the Week


'To argue with those who have renounced the use and authority of reason is as futile as to administer medicine to the dead.' Now who said that?

From the one who brought you;
What we die for...
Acceptance
KOTOR excerpts
Star Wars: The Beginning
Star Wars: Republic Dawn
Return From Exile
machievelli is offline   you may: quote & reply,