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Old 07-15-2010, 04:31 AM   #7
Monochrome Man
Jared's Avatar
Join Date: Feb 2001
Location: Costa Mesa...California.
Posts: 2,735
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1.) Buy duct tape, chewing gum, tampons, plastic spinner rims from walmart and suger.

2.) Pour suger carefully into gas tank.

3.) Insert tampons into head gasket.

4.) Pour fake blood into oil overflow (to seal the cracks in the engine and oil pan of course)

5.) Chew gum.

6.) Apply chewing gum to blown head gasket (being that this is a 97 sentra I assume the head gasket is cracked or blown)

7.) Use the duct tape to tape yourself to a passing car. (for transportation.)

8.) Don't buy a 94 dodge sprint, as it is a complete piece of crap.

9.) Buy a 98 Chevy Cavalier.

10.) Make sure to have the junkyard on speed-dial, you're going to need this more than ever with an american car. But at least you won't sell your soul to a dodge sprint, which will probably fall into several pieces on the nearest highway.

11.)Buy a moped for transportation to the junk yard as needed.

12.) Put plastic spinners on moped, so people won't make any fat chick jokes when they see you riding it. Proclaim proudly, "NO, see this isn't like a fat chick, cause it has super cool spinners on it, which only rich rappers have."

13.) Don't do anything on this list.

14.) Success!

"Honesty may be the best policy, but it's important to remember that apparently, by elimination, dishonesty is the second-best policy." -- George Carlin
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