View Single Post
Old 11-12-2010, 01:27 PM   #1162
machievelli
Local curmudgeon
 
machievelli's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2005
Location: Las Vegas Nevada
Posts: 2,847
Current Game: Dungeonseige series
Hot Topic Starter Veteran Fan Fic Author Helpful! Forum Veteran 
Star Wars: The rise
Fredi

No specific era given: A young Sith student starts earning prestige.

The author is obviously not an English speaker, as there are several words used incorrectly. As an example, in the section ‘with hit against’ it would read better by saying ‘from the impact with the wall’. and used tough (strong) instead of taught (receiving teaching), amaze instead of amazed.

The piece is generic and a bit bland. This piece led me to the following one, which had not been reviewed.

Darth Wyyrlok II the Undead warrior
Fredi

Pre TSL on Dxun: A young Sith gathers data for his master and himself.

Remember tenses. You send someone or they are sent, not sended. People are taken or took, not taked. grates are metal forms made of metal bars, not a term of capability like greatest, which is what I think you meant. Fool instead of foul.

The story is as I said of the one above, generic and bland. It is like watching a fight and travel scene.

The Chronicles of Jebord Esio & Belcameron Cook
JebusJM

Pre TOR: A pair of Gray Jedi carry out assassinations to aid the republic.

My question is why you’re using an escape pod for this mission; unlike a life raft or whaleboat which can be reused readily, whereas to return the life pod you will have to fly down and recover it.; defeating the purpose of a secret mission.

Sith Resurrection
Kael'thas Solo

30,000 years after the destruction of the Death Star: The Jedi order reacts to a new threat.

Not much to go by yet. Though the intro is interesting.


kotorfanmedia

Lanai Kessler: Prologue
Lighbulb

KOTOR on Dantooine: The crew plots the missions ahead.

The author suggested something interesting here; why couldn’t they hit three planets at the same time by splitting up? It would have been difficult to arrange in the game, but it cuts down the time spent.

Love in a Time of War
Infanta Magdelena

Remember conversation breaks. Also do a visual edit of your work, you used the wrong word several times.

The piece is a generic retelling of the arrival on Taris except for having Carth meet our Revan a bit earlier.

Resurrection
McFinnegan

Originally reviewed 6 October 2006 That review is below:

As Bastila deals with her mother’s death, Alana (Revan) delivers on a promise.

The style is excellent, the subject matter up to the author’s usual high standards. Worth a read.

Reprise Pick of the Week

Time Goes On
Noneko

Originally reviewed 13 October, 2006, that review is below:

A meeting in a bar after KOTOR I.

The piece has the look of a polished art work, and the simplicity of the scene hides the fact that it is very well done. A simple meeting between two old friends tell more of the pain in the main character than a thousand words could have done.

Reprise Pick of the Week

Falooge
Arrow

Pre KOTOR: Just a bunch of Sith younglings sitting around the fire and telling ghost stories.

The piece is a nice and gentle flow unlike a lot of frenetic stories. Just a bunch of kids, even though they are Sith.

A Family Event
Charys

Originally reviewed 13 October, 2006, that review is below:

KOTOR I parody with a Halloween theme.

All right, I have lambasted people for this before. If the author had changed the name (In other words, not called it Halloween) I would have said nothing. So grumble grumble, complain, whine.

That out of the way, I roared. It was funny from start to finish. The characters have an advantage (Beyond seeming to all be stuck in the same house ala Drawn Together) of being able to ‘borrow’ every one else’s clothes to pretend. Having both Revan (Played by Mission in a blonde wig) Darth Revan (Played by Dustil) and Canderous wearing Carth’s jacket (With arguments as to whether it is rust colored or orange) the piece sort of grabs your hand like a friendly St Bernard puppy, and drags you to the end.

Reprise Pick of the Week

Fanfiction.net

Priorities
VanillaLatte

KOTOR on Tatooine: No said Revan isn’t stubborn.

The piece in the words of the author, was just a once off. A pity.

The Call of War
Carrat

Pre KOTOR: The battle of Malchor V

The piece is dark and Revan perfectly duplicitous.

Their Paths run Parallel
The Orginal Empathist

TSL on Malachor V: The Exile contemplates everything Kreia taught him.

The introspection was well done. Considered in the light suggested by the author, perhaps the right color for a Jedi should be gray.

Triss
The Lady Revan

Six years post KOTOR to 17 years: The daughter of Revan and Bastila goes in search of her missing father.

The piece is deep and dark. I got four chapters into it, and it was worth every second of it.

Pick of the Week.

Collusions
Noneko

TSL on Peragus: The events leading up to the Workers discovering that they have a Jedi in their midst

The piece has an excellent calm before the storm feel to it. The arrival of the Ebon Hawk, both T3 and HK50, and the people going about their business.

Kotor II The Exiles Story
RyuDraconis

One year post TSL: The Exile tries to explain to Visas why he must follow Revan into the Unknown.

The piece like the one above has a calm before the storm feel to it. The Exile’s explanation is well thought out.

Pick of the Week.


'To argue with those who have renounced the use and authority of reason is as futile as to administer medicine to the dead.' Now who said that?

From the one who brought you;
What we die for...
Acceptance
KOTOR excerpts
Star Wars: The Beginning
Star Wars: Republic Dawn
Return From Exile
machievelli is offline   you may: quote & reply,