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Old 01-07-2011, 04:16 PM   #1176
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Join Date: Jul 2005
Location: Las Vegas Nevada
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Coruscant Entertainment Center

The story of Revan Darius

No specific era given, though probably after ROTS: The son of a Bounty Hunter sets out on an adventure.

The piece is fast paced, and that is part of the problem; you go from sixteen watching his father die, to waking up on a ship with nothing intervening. The only character that has any depth is the father.

Slow down a tad. Draw the story out more.

Star Wars Knights of the Old Republic: The Shadow Empire

Three years post TSL:

Remember conversation breaks. Also, the word would be lay or lie, not lied. That isn't caught by a spellchecker

Again, as I said above, you're pushing the pace. What I have seen so far is good, but I feel it could have been about five pages longer.

Zero-Sum Game

Post TSL: A new class of Jedi train on Coruscant, and young love begins to flower.

The piece is sheer Tysyacha, with all the flair she usually shows. Waiting for more.


Displacement In The Old Republic, Chapter 1---

KOTOR on Taris: An extra person is added to the mix

The author added the character so smoothly that it would have fit perfectly. The only thing I wondered about was how long before KOTOR does start? He was pre-positioned perfectly.

The Gizka Problem

KOTOR on Korriban: The Pied Piper of Korriban?

The piece was funny in that I don't think anyone else would have considered this option. Sort of like the Trouble with Tribbles when they beamed the entire lot of them onto the Klingon ship.

As the Fires Blaze

Pre- KOTOR: What if they had not tried to redeem Revan?

The piece is good from the introspection point of view. You have the clumsy miner who you know is Revan, dreaming of being a great warrior, and the council still discussing why they did what they did.


KOTOR on Dantooine: Reaching out in friendship makes Sasha escape from her torment

I loved the piece because most see Sasha as just the side quest they made for her. In my own work I made Sasha part of the team.

Pick of the Week

Brejik's Cleverness

KOTOR on Taris Alternate Universe: The Swoop Bike race ends tragically

I love an author willing to tweak the story this much. It throws the entire story completely out of kilter, meaning someone else will have to become the hero(ine).

Pick of the Week

Part 1: The Endar Spire/upper Taris

KOTOR aboard Endar Spire: A retelling of the beginning

The piece starts well before the attack, laying the ground work for the reactions of the characters. My favorite line is the end considering the piece before it.

Pick of the Week

A Sisters Empathy

Eight years Post KOTOR: The heroines return, but we're only sure of one happy ending.

The piece is well laid out, the angst of returning to the unknown well portrayed. The counterpoint of one happy ending with the other still up in the air perfect.

Pick of the Week

Coming Together

Helena L

KOTOR on Dantooine: What do our heroes want from the future?

The piece is basically a generic retelling, but there is added depth to Jacob (Revan) and Bastila.

KotOR III The Lost Ones
Childe At Heart

Post TSL: Bastila sets out to track down the crew from TSL, with only two options on who to contact

The piece was too short to get more than an idea of where to go. Don't let that disturb you, however, I just did not have the time to read more than the first portion, and there are 30+ more chapters...

Bring Me to Life
Roach4 Life

KOTOR Probably after Leviathan: The song by Evanescence is used for a song-fic

The song is one of my favorites in the last decade, and the thoughts flooding their minds fit the song perfectly.

Pick of the Week


Post KOTOR: The Exile struggles with memories and the feeling that the force might be returning.

The piece flows well, the character fighting the memories and feelings.


Post KOTOR Revan is driven by her nightmares

Technical note: January is tied to the Roman Empire, violating the 'Long ago in a Galaxy Far, Far away' of George Lucas. Also, the time you're using appears to be standard, meaning you are setting it on a planet with exactly the same as our own 24 hours. Both minor.

That said, I loved it. Revan falling back into the dark, but holding her friends safe by escaping, only to be hunted down by those same friends. Very tragic.

Pick of the Week

'To argue with those who have renounced the use and authority of reason is as futile as to administer medicine to the dead.' Now who said that?

From the one who brought you;
What we die for...
KOTOR excerpts
Star Wars: The Beginning
Star Wars: Republic Dawn
Return From Exile
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