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Old 01-23-2011, 11:38 AM   #1178
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Join Date: Jul 2005
Location: Las Vegas Nevada
Posts: 2,874
Current Game: Dungeonseige series
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Zero-Sum Game: Ch. 2

Post KOTOR: There is always time for a prank...

Like all of Tys' stuff, this was well done. Reprogramming a droid to act as comic relief was fun and the snap choice of who would give the lecture instead a riot.

Pick of the Week


Lost Jedi chapter 1 Aftermath
Darth Red Head

Post TSL: The Exile deals with the loss of Atton, and the future

The piece is well done and the feeling and voice of each character is distinct and clear. The angst felt by not only the main character but all who journey with her comes through like a carillon of bells. The ending, with another dark fate on the horizon is very well done.

Technical note: It is a common problem for people to use common words landsmen would use but applying them to ship areas. Please read the website below Ship nomenclature, or; It's not a door, it's a hatch blast it! Machievelli for the correct terms.

Pick of the Week

Rogue Lady-Rogue Jedi

Post KOTOR: Revan deals with the death of her mother.

RLS has always turned out quality work, and this is no exception. The ritual of cutting her hair to leave on her mother's grave fits with her anger at the Council.

Pick of the Week

Past Mistakes; Prologue

Post KOTOR: Dustil's training under of all people, Jolee

It should be take over (Present tense) rather than took (Past tense)

The piece flowed well, and Dustil's rationalization of why his renewed attack perfectly done.


KOTOR aboard Endar Spire: The death and soon to be rebirth of Trask Ulgo.

You left a word out 'you (into) a monster'.

The piece flowed well, and one reviewers comment was welcome, since there are few Trask stories out there

Bastila's Touch

Pre KOTOR: Bastila's thoughts on what has been done to Revan

The piece is a clear concise rendition of how Revan becomes the main character. The specifications are tight, and you can follow step by step what had been done to mold the nascent mind.

Alive Chapter 1-Hunters
Kagi Vayun

Pre KOTOR: With Revan dead (He thinks) Bastila is now the primary target

The piece has a smooth flow and the bounty hunter chosen is perfect for the job.

The Jedi and the Jacket
Woman of Rohan

Post KOTOR: A man and his jacket...

The piece is thoroughly delightful. It reminds me of a commercial from the 70s when a woman is traipsing around in her boyfriend's shirt, accepting a call and blithely answers, 'Oh, I was just thinking about you'.

Worth every second of the read.

Pick of the Week


Pre TSL: A paid of Jedi prepare to go on their adventure.

Should be console instead of council Also 'you're (You are) rather than your (Possessive). Also through (past) rather than threw (hurled) and deleted rather than deleated. Also off instead of speaking of signs of life. Also the body lay, not lied, and the woman was calm (relaxed) not clam (Shellfish).

Didn't have a chance to read beyond chapter 1, but that was enough to know it is quality work.

Pick of the Week

The Leviathan

It's thrashed instead of trashed.

The scene is well laid out, the Sith merely continuing the torment because they were ordered to.


No specific era given: What you must do as a Sith.

The piece is cold and hard. If you have read the Extended Universe, you will remember Iron Fist, where Republic warriors pretending to be mercenaries are given the choice to kill a captured agent. The difference is that there is no timer pretending the man is alive; it is three children killed because 'they will come back to attack when they get older'.

Mirrored Paths

TSL on Peragus: The twin Jedi go their opposite ways to carry out the same mission.

The piece is well laid out, the separate Jedi complementing each other .

The Night She Left

Post KOTOR: Neither spoke of it... Until it was too late

The piece is excellent!. You have two point of views (You need to work in a break there, kid) with Revan breaking down because of her own ghosts, followed by Carth exploding when he discovers her gone. You want to bitch-slap both of them because they aren't thinking about the partner.

Pick of the Week

'To argue with those who have renounced the use and authority of reason is as futile as to administer medicine to the dead.' Now who said that?

From the one who brought you;
What we die for...
KOTOR excerpts
Star Wars: The Beginning
Star Wars: Republic Dawn
Return From Exile
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