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Originally Posted by Tysyacha
I guess that what I'm really trying to say is that I feel scared, confused, lost and broken. My life has fallen apart, and not for the first time. Along come some people, and a sermon, which made me feel even more so.
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Those people are wrong for having made you feel even more so.
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Originally Posted by Tysyacha
I'm wondering whether I should just give up on God/Christianity/whatever, because it's too bloody (excuse my language) hard.
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That is of course entirely your prerogative, but I think that the immitation of Christ is exceptionally hard, and that those who claim it is easy are not actually immitating Christ.
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Originally Posted by Tysyacha
Everyone around me thinks it's great--the circumstances I'm in--and only I seem to disagree. I had dreams, and my biggest one just died.
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We all have emotional ups and downs, even those who never frown, eventually break down... Indeed I think in reality, that it is periods like the one your going through now that I got to know God a lot better, from crying out to him...
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Originally Posted by Tysyacha
I wonder why I bother trying to get to know God, if the real truth is that I should have "moved on" past all this doubting and questioning crap years ago.
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Ty, I haven't "moved" on from the doubting and questioning "crap" and I hope I never move on from it. Those who never doubt and never question are stupid, and I think real faith requires their to be an element of doubt rather than its absence.
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Originally Posted by Tysyacha
My sister has. Her faith is so strong that I can't even talk to her about Christianity without her preaching some mini-sermons to me.
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May I suggest that if here faith was really strong, you would be able to talk to her about Christianity? I don't mean to offend or cast aspersions on your sister, but if the aim of Christianity is to imitate Christ, he was the most approachable of people. In my experience those who have "strong faith" and rant sermons at others are really those who are most insecure about their beliefs, but don't have the courage to confront the doubts they have.
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Originally Posted by Tysyacha
She doesn't really understand where I'm coming from, faith-wise (or, so to say, doubtwise?)
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To me that would suggest she hasn't confronted her doubts.
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Originally Posted by Tysyacha
I don't know what's going to happen to me, or how I'm ever going to make it out of this situation anytime soon.
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We have all gone through dark periods, I shall be praying for you.
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Originally Posted by Tysyacha
All I know is that I've been nearly driven to suicide by social and spiritual abuse in the past, and this isn't helping. I may not be a Christian anymore.
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I am very sorry to hear this!
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Originally Posted by Tysyacha
I may not be saved anymore. I don't know WHAT I am anymore. All I know is that this flood of doubts and questions still remains in my mind, and I don't know how to get rid of it. This may sound strange, but someone telling me what to do, think and believe in this situation really doesn't help, or make me feel comforted. It just makes me feel dumber.
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I hope I haven't told you what to think or believe, my aim was not to do so. I was just trying to ask questions and make points I thought you may find helpful, and question some of the doctrines which are causing issue.