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Old 02-15-2011, 10:28 PM   #35
Jae Onasi
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Tysyacha View Post
Would you believe that ever since I was an older child, about 9 or so, I've had doubts about Christianity in particular and God/religion in general?
Every reasonable person has doubts from time to time.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Tysyacha
It was difficult for me (if not impossible) to just BELIEVE, like my friends at church and at school did (and like my adult church friends did, too) without worrying about the basics that I'd been taught.
A lot of those people had doubts, too--they just never expressed it to anyone else.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Tysyacha
More than anything, I got the strong impression that once you first accepted the faith, you were supposed to believe these "basics" (salvation, sin, God and Jesus) as given truths and then move ONWARD and UPWARD. You weren't supposed to revisit the facts of the Plan of Salvation more than once--and that "once" was when you first invited Christ to come into your heart. It's like being in school. Once you had mastered the alphabet and were learning how to write (said my faith and church doctrine) it was absolutely ridiculous to go over the ABC's again.
Well, I can see building on the basics, but why quit studying Jesus? He's kind of the guy that put 'Christ' into 'Christianity', after all.


Quote:
Originally Posted by Tysyacha
The thing was, the "basics", the truths that were SUPPOSED to be simple and believable by all people for all time, were actually very hard and complicated for me (and not only as a child, either).
The events and basics are pretty basic. The underlying theology is extremely complex--so much so that many, many books have been written on it. Some things are harder for some people to grasp than others. People who have a loving father 'get' the concept of the Loving Father far more easily than someone with an abusive or absent father. Also, don't confuse 'feeling' faith with 'having' faith. Too many people think "I don't feel my faith, therefore I don't have faith."

Quote:
Originally Posted by Tysyacha
My friends in Sunday School and at Youth Group didn't ask too many questions because THEY believed, and wholeheartedly. What was wrong with ME, I asked myself?
Well, first of all, not too many teens have matured physically and mentally enough to have completely developed critical thinking skills, so I expect teens to kind of go along with whatever's said.

Some people 'get' faith easier. I have to work at it.

Also, why is it wrong to ask questions? Why would God not want you to find out more about Him? Job had lots of questions for God, and some very hard ones. The disciples asked Jesus questions all the time. Christ even asked God why He had forsaken him while on the cross. There's no 11th Commandment called "Thou shalt not ask questions". A church that actively suppresses questioning is a church I avoid like the plague.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Tysyacha
Many people told me I thought too much and overanalyzed things. That may have been true, but then again, I've always been a deep thinker and an analyst (even of the "simple" things that 95% of the population has already dealt with and mastered).
That's because they either didn't know the answer themselves, were too uncomfortable to explore the answer with you, or just didn't want to deal with it.


Quote:
Originally Posted by Tysyacha
I TRIED to believe, JUST believe, and have a "childlike faith." That was what my church promoted as the best sort of faith, not the kind that ruminated over the "given" truths as well as the "higher" ones of the Bible.
Did Augustine avoid ruminating over the given/higher truths in the Bible? No. Did C. S. Lewis avoid ruminating over given/higher truths? No. Did Christ avoid ruminating over higher truths? No, in fact He forced His disciples to think about some very hard truths with His parables and stories.



Quote:
Originally Posted by Tysyacha
Believe. Obey. Believe. Obey. These were the two core values that my church (and, I thought, Christianity in general) stuck to, hard and fast, like epoxy glue sticks to skin.
They left out the love part, which is kind of depressing.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Tysyacha
Meanwhile, I struggled inwardly with romantic and sexual (lustful, my church and Christianity would say) feelings.
Well, welcome to the land of hormonal teen (and not so teen) horny feelings. God doesn't say "Don't have those feelings!" God says "Don't screw around". There's a difference. The first is part of the hormone makeup God made that allows us to procreate. The action (screwing around) is a problem because it spreads sexually transmitted disease (particularly at a time when there were no antibiotics or anti-virals to treat those diseases) and causes pregnancy outside of the intended setting. And on a slightly irreverent note, thank God for masturbation.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Tysyacha
I also scorned and laughed at those who did not believe as I did. The people who partied, and who sat at my lunch table? I sneered at them and what they did, while secretly wanting to be invited. I scoffed at the pregnant girls at my high school, priding myself on the fact that I was still a virgin while ignoring a very basic Christian concept: HUMILITY.
Welcome to the imperfection club. I have a piece of humble pie to share with you. It's pretty tasty, fortunately, because I've had to eat a lot of it myself.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Tysyacha
This continued all the way through college, where I believed and obeyed, believed and obeyed, nothing more.
Until everything fell apart, and my doubts exploded right out of my chest.
Yeah, that happened to me in college. It took me awhile to get it all sorted again.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Tysyacha
(P.S. How do I know that epoxy glue sticks to skin? Painful experiences. :P )
I managed to glue my fingers together one time when I was a kid.
One of my patients tried to use epoxy glue to glue on her false eyelashes. This was not a wise move on her part.


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Last edited by Jae Onasi; 02-15-2011 at 10:43 PM.
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