I'm not sure how to specifically respond to this OP. I have let go most of bible passages I have read.
Yes, I know one of the troubling things about religion is that there are things that contradict such as you pointed out.
Sometimes the best way to go about your faith is to find the answers for yourself. If you cannot find them in a church, maybe somewhere else?
Everyone goes through doubts. People question faith more than you might imagine.
It's difficult to develop one's sense of self sustaining while reliant on something else like a church--just my opinion. However, if church is all you know, I can only suggest you maybe see what it's like without church. For a time at least. Being alone, you will have the chance to examine and search within and without. However, I am not you, so I can't tell you the way. You must decide for yourself.
Recognize that this a a chance to develop your character. You must ask yourself what it means to be true to yourself.
I did. I went away from faith because I wanted answers.
After my time of no faith, I eventually came back to faith in something more because although there is no 'proof' that is scientifically testable, when I see things accomplished that are improbable if not otherwise impossible, it does seem to imply that there is still something to be drawn upon. Given that some will argue for the idea that nothing more exists, they're still arguing for it when it is/should be ultimately nothing. To me that implies something more is there. "No proof for it, therefore it must be false" is the fallacy called argument from ignorance. It cuts both ways and ultimately goes nowhere.
Personally I could not forgive myself. For Things that had happened, as well as things I had done. So I needed to find a way to learn how. Let's just say the alternative if I didn't was the ultimate of grim consequences if I did not change. This is simplifying things, perhaps cryptically so, but it is the ultimate point of all that.
Since then I've seen and done many things, much I regret. However I am not making the same mistakes that I once did--even if some of those things were not entirely my fault. This is an important lesson to learn. To truly be a changed person you act upon what you learn from mistakes.
I did indulge. Much. You know what? Nearly all of it has left a bitter taste in my mouth one way or another.
If there is any one thing relevant to your conundrum: Being faithful does not necessarily mean you follow unquestioningly. Be true and find the answers. Nobody else can do that for you in your life but you.
We are our own worst enemies. In so many ways. Just living life day to day is a challenge. Finding one's way, drive and purpose is something essential. Even if you struggle with what that is. Some can sit idly by because they don't care too much--just cruising by because that works for them. Others find their purpose and live it proudly. I'm in between these, personally. So are many people.
There is nothing wrong with it that you have not found your way in the church. Just remain true to yourself and try to enjoy life's adventure any way you can.
EDIT: OK, I see where the above could be misinterpreted or where I maybe could have been clearer. I'll try my best.
1) Learning for yourself: Be honest with yourself and others in your dealings. I am not saying by that one ought to become self righteous or self vindicating. There are things you must learn on your own (and I, and everyone else).
Insofar as your dilemma where "having a relationship with God" may be pitted against your religion or particular sect of it...in that case if you're asking which side to choose, go and be with God, always. The religion is about
God and Jesus in the first place; should you find that your religion is ever at odds with that in some way then that's probably a hint.
2) Being away from the church. I guess in this what I am saying here is it never hurts to get out once in awhile off the beaten path.
While some problems can only be solved by constant diligence and pursuit (career, savings, changing your current ways and habits of living, etc.), not everything works that way for everyone. Obviously you ought to be concerned with the big things in life and I am not telling you to be otherwise. Just saying once in awhile taking that breath of fresh air (whatever context, metaphorically or literally) is good.
Who knows? Maybe by not concentrating so hard on what troubles you so, while you're away, something in your mind will simply click ant suddenly it will make sense because you've allowed a different point of view. Different set of eyes on the same problem. In these situations worries are lessened or at least clarity and perhaps enlightenment is attained. On troubling matters, troubles seem to fade away or at least they...sort of unlock and begin to unravel.
That's a fool's point of view, anyways.
I know I am a fool and I am not so ignorant of that fact. Frankly so is everyone when you think about it. That's what's so great about it all. Actually I take heart in it because it means I'm just as human as anyone else!
As one of my favorite comic series "The Dilbert Principle" says (off memory or lack thereof): "We're all idiots. There is no avoiding it. In some way shape or form, we are all idiots. You. Me. The other people. You can have a doctorate in whatever subject, that doesn't mean you can fix your tires."
Also in terms of the whole "Deal with it" angle Jon raised...this is so often applied where it shouldn't be as a means to sweep a matter under the rug.
The original rationale behind it (I suspect) was that we all have small things in day to day life that we must do, even if they happen to be (mostly) inconsequential or unpleasant. Sometimes the only way to handle these small affairs is to simply do it because we must. Examples: clean the yard, clearing the snow, handling the misbehaving pet, organizing the kitchen, etc. The only way to do these things is simply to do them, obviously.
That DOES NOT MEAN if someone you love has a serious problem and needs help, that you simply turn them away by telling then to "just deal with it". Where somebody has a serious problem that actively needs addressing, then by all means it should be addressed. Tough love at the end of the day is still love. Turning away a legitimate issue is not a loving thing to do.