I am neither an Intellectual nor a Christian, but sometimes you have to look inside yourself to find Happiness and Meaning in life. This is not directed at the Religious members of this Forum, as the ones I've had dealings with are level headed and caring people... But when I was "Forced" to go to Church, Sunday School and Boys Brigade as a Child, the Kids and Adults I was surrounded by were some of the Nastiest, close-minded Bullies I've ever met.
I Hope you feel your family will be understanding of your problems, as they should be your third leg no questions asked.
I sincerely hope you find peace with your self and any decisions you make, and I hope your family and friends are there for you